Where God is Working, Satan Attacks

It has been a challenging few weeks. I'm tired. Ron is tired. The kids are tired. 

 

I teach on sustainability for missionaries, but I'm not always a good student. We are trying to pace ourselves, so please be patient with us. We don't normally get a ton of donations. There are few consistent people that have been such a huge blessing to our family, but for the most part, we really don't know how we will even feed our family each month. I traveled waaaay too much last year leading teams to Latin America and then stopping through the States in order to work as much as possible to allow us to continue to live here. 

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It took a huge leap of faith for our family to just hop on a plane with no return tickets and without paid work or a concrete plan for funding. Somehow the Lord has worked miraculously and we continue to have enough to get by. But this has come with a fair share of challenges. In fact, I am now being reminded that the things that frustrate me the most in Haiti are exactly the type of things that got us here in the first place.

 

Here's an example: The pastor is AMAZING! We love him and he has such a heart for the Lord, but starting a project without knowing how you are going to pay for the whole thing is frustrating. He simply relies on the Lord that the rest will come in. Americans don't exactly think that way. If the building is going to cost 20K and you have 10K, you don't start it until you have the money. So....with the school....that was a HUGE issue. The school was started and then the roof needed to be done because structurally you compromise the safety of the building if you piece it together. It was also raining and ruining the desks that had just been made. We had part of the roof funding, but not all of it. The pastor rented some material and hocked his vehicle.  I dunno. It was a nightmare, but we do now have a roof on the school. 

What do we do when we have faith, but things are not as we imagined they would be? But then again, who am I to complain about this "live for the moment" strategy when we ourselves had 14 one way tickets and stepped out in faith that the Lord would provide?

 

We are also told "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" Matthew 6:25

hmm....hmm...ugh. I'm not always good at this! I would not say I am a worry wart by any means. I am not up pacing around worrying about what we will eat or worrying about life, but it does occupy much more of my thought process then it really should. 

I'm sure I could also pull scripture on planning, and being strategic, and prudent and on and on. I don't think God promotes simply moving forward randomly without a plan, but those plans should not be OUR plans, but the Lord's plans. Sometimes it feels like meeting the Lord's plan is like hitting a moving target. 

And do not worry about what we will eat or about life? hmm...people are starving around us. Food is a big thing here. Just the expense to feed our family on a Haitian diet of rice and beans is not only tremendously expensive, but it takes a ton of work. Going to the market, bartering, finding food, cooking food, having fuel to cook that food, having electricity to store some kinds of food, keeping mice and rats and ants and cockroaches out of food. These are all things that weren't such a challenge stateside.

 

On this last team, we were blessed with a specific donation by my friend Vanessa's mother-in-law. She wanted to do something to help our family and maybe buy each child gifts. I said that it would really be helpful to have a dryer because everything is molding up here. It takes forever to dry. Anyway....HUGE blessing to be given funds to get a propane dryer. I was all teary over this and I'm usually not so teary over things. 

 

We still had wet stuff here from the team after a week. Then you get wet again and it's a never ending process. So, we went on the journey to Port au Prince to locate a dryer. And praise God that we not only were able to find a dryer, but bought a washer and dryer for the donated amount. We've had a string of challenges trying to keep a washing machine. Our system was struck by lightening and we had a power surge before that which took out our original washing machine and well....numerous other things have been an issue to where we have not had a working washing machine for quite a while now. But there was another blessing, Operation Blessing donated some food and building supplies, so we have been hauling some of that stuff as well. 

 

Our truck has been used so much. We are thankful to have it, but security continues to be a issue here in a country of have's and have not's.  We had two big boxes strapped down with thick tie downs in the back of the truck. We were driving over by the US Embassy and people started yelling and pointing. This is a bumpy and congested dirt road in a smoldering hot area. 

 

One box had flipped out of the truck.  We didn't know how that was possible, but we had to deal with the crisis at hand. People were helping to put the box back in the truck. For anyone that has been to Haiti, you understand what happens at the airport: people swarm you and want to help you because they want money. 

 

It turns out the tie down had been deliberately cut in order to pop the box out and possibly get paid to put it back in or maybe to steal it, but the box was too heavy to just pack off.  A swarm of people gathered quickly. Maybe over 20 guys and they got a hold of Ron and were shaking him and yelling. They all wanted money. We gave one guy some money so that the rest would take off after that one guy. A few still stayed. A UN truck happened to be passing next to us and the rest of the guys took off, but not before one of the guys pulled a knife on Ron. The whole time our younger two kids, Naomi and Steevenson, were witnessing this whole event. 

This is normal. We are exposed to violence regularly. We are exposed to trauma. All of our kids have seen people die- many people. All of our kids have also seen people killed in front of us. The reality of this and how to wrap your mind around scripture of " Do not worry" and " God is in control" is complex. We as missionaries only feel a small part of this danger and feeling of not being in control. In comparison to the rest of the population, we actually live quite well here. Everyone is ok though. Praise God! I got in the back of the truck with Steevenson (one of our 12 year olds) to hold onto the stuff. We strapped it down again after we got out of the immediate area. 

 

Ron's arms are messed up. Not only from this instance, but from laying on the ground in Nouvelle Terrain. And maybe because we're getting old. This life we have is aging us. Would appreciate prayers for strength and perseverance.

 

BUT...My friend Vanessa was there and said she is beginning to get a better glimpse of what it is like to live in Haiti. Yes, this is Haiti. The good and the bad. This is not abnormal and I know we do not have the control that we "think" we have in the States either. It's just that it seems to be a little more blatant and in your face here in Haiti.  Being on guard continually from being robbed or injured or killed takes a toll on a person. The kind of counseling I do here for expats and NGO workers often revolves around trauma of rape, hostage, shootings, etc. This is deep stuff.

 

We then dropped Vanessa at the airport. I came home and put my head in a bucket of cold water to wash the grime out of my hair. I wrapped my hair in a towel and a cockroach landed on the floor. He was on my head, but then I crunched him on the ground. I left him there. The ants would drag him off.  

 

 

I went to get some coffee and put some sugar in it. After all, it was a tough day. I wanted some sugar! But....the ants had invaded our sugar. So, I scooped some sugar into my coffee and drank it anyway. These are the questions you ask yourself on days like this: How many ants are too many? One time ants got into our cinnamon rolls (which we rarely ever have). We put them in the freezer and picked most of them off. These are things that in the states you may just throw out, but here certain things (most thing) are precious and not easily or cheaply replaced. I respect that and appreciate the real-ness about Haiti, but it's still hard. I miss easy at times. And then I go back to the States, and I feel like a fish out of water. I don't understand the materialism and the ease of hopping in your car to get a Starbucks. Don't people realize that people are dying from starvation as they sit there drinking coffee? I wish I was less aware of that fact at times. I know actually that people do care and people do realize, but it's much more complex and it's not something people can fix.

Actually, there are moments I wish I just worked at Starbucks. I think that would be fun and rewarding. The employees always seem so happy and maybe they could pay off my 100k doctorate education.

And well....I guess I didn't understand the whole propane dryer deal. I "thought" that since it was propane it would run on gas, but it only kinda sorta does. We have to also have electricity for part of this "running the dyer" process, which we don't exactly have because it's overcast and our solar is not working well this time of year.  Plus solar power is not all I had hoped it would be. We can sort of run the washer and dryer, but it's drastically limited depending on the day.

 

But I am reminded that these are just details meant to distract us from doing the work the Lord has called us to do. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and your continued support! We really need your prayers. It gives us strength to know so many are thinking of us and praying for not only the country of Haiti, but for our family as well.

Ephesians 6:12: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."