Saturday, December 30, 2017

Eight "Teens" is Enough


Julia with Billy's niece
November was National Adoption Awareness month and as our life functions, we are generally a couple of months behind with just about everything in life! I can honestly say, we have been blessed to be the parents of 14 children, 12 of whom joined our family through adoption.

Domestic Adoption: Kenneth (24), Julia (19), Talitha (17)
Talitha with Naomi
Kenneth
Maliya

Phuong
International Adoption


Vietnam: Thào Phuong (23)


China: Maliya (22)



Billy, Steevenson, and Melissa in Haiti prior to adoption



Haiti: Christelle (18) Billy (15) Roseminique (15), Melissa (13), Steevenson (13)






Christelle
Melissa

Billy at Haiti Olympic Stadium



Jordan and Steevenson
Ecuador: Jordan (13)










Embryo Adoption: (Naomi 7).

Naomi


We are also blessed with two biological children Joseph (26) and David (23). Wow......

David translating in mobile clinic



Joseph
But I would not be completely honest if I did not also say that sometimes (maybe even often times), it does not "feel" like such a blessing at all. Many times the thought is: Yikes! What in the world have we done?


I'm not sure that I "fully" thought through the logistics of such a large family and especially a large family with so many children with significant trauma histories. At least three of them will need long-term help throughout their lives due to developmental disabilities, autism, cerebral palsy, or other medical or mental health needs. And somehow in the midst of it all, the Lord decided to plop us on the mission field that added complexities to what was already a "unique" family dynamic.

I want to be real with people without exposing too many personal details of our kid's stories. So many families contact me in pain on this journey of adoption. They are suffering through this "blessing" of adoption. I want to speak to that pain and say "me too". I feel the pain. I also do not want to dwell in the pain and problems, but have hope and confidence that God is bigger than all of the pain and suffering within any life.


At this season in our lives, we have Eight Teenagers (seven still in the home with us in Haiti). I feel like singing the theme song from the 70's TV show Eight is Enough. It feels at times like it is more than enough. Yes, there are blessings. Tremendous blessings and overall we have amazing kids, but any teenager is a bit of drama- let alone 8 of them. I am thankful that 6 of our kids have been "launched" into the world and seem to be doing well overall. It's not that they are gone though. We still have college details and finances and assistance in management of so many elements involved with transitioning young adults from life in Haiti to life back in the USA or elsewhere.

Teen Ministry: Maliya, David, Linda, Phuong
I also want to be honest and say, we are tired. Sometimes people have said to me, Linda....you guys have done enough. Just come home now (meaning the States). You've done your part. You've served and you've helped. Your life is so challenging. Come back to the USA where it is easier. Hmm....Is it?

Yes, Haiti is HARD. It's pretty brutal to be quite honest and the stuff we do here is not some walk in the park. But....living is not easy anywhere. Being a parent to teenagers anywhere is not easy. Being a parent to young adults is also not easy. Being a parent in general is not the easiest thing in the world.

I do believe that many of our teens are at least experiencing life with a focus not so much on themselves. They are able to serve alongside us and give back to others. Do they always love it- ummmm.....Nope. Are they good and mad sometimes about how they think they maybe got the short end of the stick? Umm....yes, we've experienced some of that. Do they say "Thank you mom" or "Thank you Dad" for taking us in and providing for us and giving us an opportunity in life? Umm....I'm not really holding much hope for that one to be honest. BUT they have started to consistently say thank you every time we go and do something (probably because I've lost my mind a time or two regarding ungratefulness and they realize if mom's not happy-nobody is happy)!

Some of our kids are overall thankful. Some of our kids do in fact appreciate adoption. Some of our kids are not currently angry about adoption or living on the mission field. Some of them though are angry (at life or the world in general). Some are hurt. Some are in pain and don't exactly allow others (including us) to love them. I guess we're all like that in different ways. There are seasons of pain and seasons of joy, but all is in God's plan.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (KJV)


We thank you for coming along side us on this incredible journey. We thank you for loving us in this process. We appreciate the prayers and support! There seems to always be a mountain ahead, but we know that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).

Please check on the tab above for our updated Christmas Newsletter. We are excited to see what the Lord has in store for 2018!

If you would like to partner with us on this journey, any amount is so greatly appreciated!

FOR TAX DEDUCTIBLE GIFTS
1. DONATE ONLINE

https://www.worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2
(Select our name from the list and follow the prompts)

2. MAIL CHECKS TO:

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.
P.O. Box B
Marietta, GA 30061
(designate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546)


3. BILL PAY - via your online banking

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.
(designate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546)
P.O. Box B
Marietta, GA 30061

Friday, December 15, 2017

What's Up, Doc ?

I'm sorry that I don't get around to posting on the blog very often. It seems as though we're only posting when we travel or something...just from time to time. Life is a bit hectic and looney sometimes. We haven't been great at just posting the day-to-day happenings in Haiti. It feels somewhat cold and distant to pull out a phone and snap pictures with the people we're around day-in and day-out. And to be honest, we're really busy simply doing what we're doing without the photo-ops. On the positive side, we don't have administrative costs and overhead. Yet on the negative side, it's just us out here without the security of a big supporting organization.

Ron continues to assist with the rebuilding of the Church in Nouvelle Terrain. It's been a long process, but we're so appreciative of your prayers in that regard since its destruction during Hurricane Matthew. Everything is such a slow process and it seems there's just one disaster after another. It feels--at times--that Haiti simply can't catch a break. We've been blessed to receive an incredible donation from Operation Blessings to assist with the rebuild in Nouvelle Terrain. They had some leftover funds from their hurricane relief efforts. Praise God! I love that ministries can work together and help one another! It's something we don't always--or even often--see (unfortunately).

Linda continues to assist with medical care (within Haiti as well as Guatemala and Ecuador) and provide mental health services in a dizzying range of ways (She's doing so many things she's spinning 'round and 'round). We had a small group travel out to Nouvelle Terrain (this is the very remote village where we assist in Haiti) and operate a mobile medical clinic. There, one of the American CNMs (certified nurse midwives) in the group has agreed to help provide training to the matrons (the men and women who help with the births in the villages). The organization of this training is still in the works (pray for guidance!). We are often pulled into various medical things from HIV testing and follow-up treatment to simply trying to figure out what is going on with individuals in order to get them the help they need. We had one man in the village who was suspected of having syphillis, but it turns out that wasn't accurate and nobody could figure out what was going on. Unfortunately, a sad part of what we do here sometimes involves seeing people who we try to help die from "unknown" causes ("unknown" here with the limited testing available to us, but in the USA the causes would be so much more easily diagnosed).

The processes of so many things are incredibly complicated and time-consuming. For example, we assist with transporting some of the babies (and their parents) to a malnutrition center where they get excellent care and they generally recover, BUT....then there are long term details involved with assisting that family in developing a long term plan to increase crop production or with the village regarding their strategy for feeding their children. Otherwise, the children will simply return to the malnutrition center in the same condition (or worse) many months later. The resources are simply not there for the many elements where we see needs. Storm upon storm washes away crops in the villages, creates mudslides, causes homelessness, which in turn contributes to starving and severely malnourished babies and children.

On the mental health end of things, Linda still has her office in Pétionville 2-3 days a week and is in her office in Tabarre also 2-3 days a week. This makes for a busy schedule especially when a few days ago it took 4 hours to get home from her office. The traffic this month has been horrific. There's been an increase in robberies and kidnapping (you know how it is, things like that), so not only does that add some stress in the commute, but also an increase in the need for mental health services since many people are suffering from trauma and anxiety that live and work on the field.

We so appreciate your continued prayers and patience with us. If you don't see us posting often, know that we're working hard, and we're praying daily for strength and direction in what God's doing here in Haiti. One amazing thing that the Lord has provided for the 4 and a half years that we've been living in Haiti is the clear calling of being here. It's been tough and we've been tired and stressed, sad and mad, but we've yet to feel that God doesn't want us here. We are confident that we're exactly where the Lord has placed us to be. He doesn't say it will be easy, but He does say He will not abandon us (praise the Lord!).

Thank you for your financial support as well. We have no idea how God's going to work out the funding of each and every day. We are so very low on funds that I don't even know how to address that. We are praying for an increase in our monthly support in order to bring down some of the stress of the unknown on a day-by-day basis. We were so on-fire while moving here and just trusting in the Lord that He'll provide. We believed (and still believe) that we need to walk in Faith and not by Sight. We are doing that, but it also doesn't mean the Lord could not outline some of the resources in advance as well (pretty please? haha...).

If you feel called to assist even with a very small monthly donation, please know that we will use those funds to the best of our ability to help those with the greatest need. One of the hardest parts about living here is seeing the needy everywhere yet knowing we can't help everyone. We are so blessed by having World Outreach Ministries to handle our home office. This has allowed us to spend more time actually serving versus working on administrative details. Tax deductible donations can be made either one time or on a monthly basis in these ways:

1. DONATE ONLINE!

https://www.worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2
(Select our name from the list and follow the prompts)

2. MAIL CHECKS TO:

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.
P.O. Box B
Marietta, GA 30061
(designate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546)


3. BILL PAY - via your online banking

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.
(designate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546)
P.O. Box B
Marietta, GA 30061



(if you don't like the editing, blame David *haha*)

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Juggling Multiple Roles as a Missionary


Office in Petionville, Haiti
Hmm...people keeping asking me to outline what a "typical" day in my life looks like. Oh my gosh. It kinda makes me want to laugh because I don't know that there is a "typical" day in my life or a "typical" day in the life of really anyone that lives in Haiti, or a typical day in the life of a missionary, but I'll give it a try.

Our life is very complex. We wear so many different hats and have to adapt to changes perpetually. I will try to outline just an example of what our schedule looks like when things go well in Haiti (or in our lives).

I work/serve/volunteer in my office in Petionville 2-3 days a week (usually two specific week days and every other Friday). This depends on details of unrest or being called "on the scene" I guess you could say at times. On a good day, it takes 20-30 minutes to get to my office from our home. On a bad day...hmmm...well...maybe hours.


Play therapy area for children

Processing Grief and Loss
In my office in Petionville, I mostly see individual clients (or couples). I have fish that I am thankful for and I kinda/sorta have air conditioning in that office (which perpetually does not work- in fact my ceiling fell down the other day, but that's a minor detail). It's a nice little relaxing atmosphere when things go well. Some of the clients I see are children, missionaries struggling with transitions, expat/ngo workers with a range of variables, victims of sexual assault is not uncommon, victims of shooting or witnesses to shootings is also not uncommon, individuals that have been held hostage, individuals with a whole range of trauma that I guess I'd rather not go into detail about.



It can be ultra sad stuff to be brutally honest. But one good thing that I hold onto is that this life feeling HARD is a really good thing. The reason it is good, is that I do still care. I am not numb to the suffering of others or the serious concerns of trauma on the field. Being numb would maybe make it easier, but I also realize that is a dangerous place to be (when we begin to no longer FEEL what we do on the field).

Trauma Workshop for Teens
I also assist with marriage counseling, couples therapy, adoption therapy, attachment therapy, and on and on.  These things are actually "less" stressful and help to give me a more balanced work load to prevent burnout in myself. It is difficult for me to share "what" I do because of confidentiality, but on the other hand, I want to be transparent with donors. We NEED funding and people do need to have a general idea at least of the types of things that we do. Probably under 20% of my client base are paying clients (some at very reduced rates). I'm pulled into a lot of unique situations that do not have specific funding (trauma related situations of evacuating individuals with mental health needs or crisis situations). I am not "good" at saying no, but that is a whole different topic. I am getting better at saying no and we are certainly praying about what we can do for "free/volunteer/reduced rate" compared to the percentage of full pay clients with overhead and we need to actually eat also.

On the other two weekdays (and every other Saturday), I work in my new office in Tabarre (which is upstairs from Pizza Amour). This is all the way across town where it is HOT and dusty. Usually it takes me about an hour and a half to get to this office, but it can take three or more hours when there are issues. In that office, we have hired an amazing local social work student/staff who is assisting with group therapy, research studies, individual therapy, and helping with a range of workshops we are currently offering. I'll attach some examples. I'm excited about what we are offering in this location. As Stephana begins to work more directly with the local population, we will increase our ability to offer more mental health services. We work within sex trafficking, sexual abuse/assault, orphan prevention, transitioning out of orphanages, transitioning into independence, parenting classes, men's groups on respecting women, rape prevention, trauma healing groups, etc.

Teen Trauma Workshop
So...five or six days a week I am doing therapy essentially in one form or another. I continue to see clients on Skype in the evenings or early mornings and have begun to have clients in various countries throughout Asia, Africa, Latin America, and Eastern Europe. Online, I work mostly with missionary/expat families that are raising children with trauma on the field (often through adoption) as well as teen adoptees and adult adoptees. It is a unique niche where I think there is a great need. I would appreciate anyone spreading the word regarding my Tuesday night Free Live Streaming from The Chance to Dream Facebook page https://web.facebook.com/thechancetodream/?ref=br_rs  as well as the availability of appointments for services. https://www.schedulicity.com/scheduling/AAFRZU

Assessing children for Malnutrition
As a family, the bulk of what we do is sustainability in a range of ways and preventative services.  I'm sorry to so blatantly say this, but there is essentially NO money in preventative or sustainability programs. The resources we "used to have" and the resources we have now are night and day different. We NEED your help! If we were to step in and "save" the orphan child, it pulls at heart strings, but doing programs to prevent children from being poverty orphans doesn't get much funding. If we are stepping in to "save" a child from sex trafficking, there is a different ability to recruit funds than if we are working with the girls/teens/boys years after they we removed from abusive situations. These children and adults are are still working through their trauma and conditioning that has developed due to their early history. Without this long term support, they often go back to where they were before they were "saved" from whatever fate they were in.

Medical Care in Haiti- with Vanessa and Julia
This is someone bringing a baby to our house
which is not uncommon


When we step in and "save" children from starvation and feed them and show a starving baby and now a healthy baby, there is funding for that (and we do some of that as well), but there is essentially NO funding for preventing that baby from starving in the first place or funding for long term job creation programs so families can feed their kids. If we step in and open an orphanage and "save" children from the streets, there is funding for that, but if we are seeking out the families that have placed their children into orphanages when they were not in fact orphans at all and we try to help assist the family in parenting their child, there is essentially no funding for that. If we open a medical clinic and we serve hundreds or thousands of patients and bring in US doctors to prescribe medication and "save" patients from eminent death, there is funding for that, but if we go out to villages and do preventative medical care without prescribing medications that cannot be purchased here anyway, there is virtually NO funding for that.

Hiking to Noevelle Terrain
We used to work in orphanages and adoption for years. I worked in medical clinics for years. I held the dying babies and "saved" the dying babies, but the Lord has really opened our eyes to the "how can we prevent this" thought process. What can/should we be doing BEFORE it reaches that point?? Our focus now is very educational and preventative.

View from the hike to Noevelle Terrain
We do also serve in two different villages way up in the mountains in Haiti. We work alongside two local pastors in their services of these villages. We do not take "ownership" for our service in these villages. This is also confusing to people. Where is YOUR school or church or clinic? Hmm...yes, we have helped to build a school and a church (or two) and a clinic, but they are not OURS. They belong to the villages. The villages built and are instrumental in the projects. We are in the villages and we are hands on. We continue to provide funding when we are able to.

We try to hike into Noevelle terrain every month and offer educational training as well as provide periodic medical clinics, working on a plan to get not only clean water, but actually a water system to the village (since they lack water entirely , help with agriculture, we've done a TON of building assistance, and we assist with discipleship and evangelism as well. We "try" to go to the other village every week and help with a range of projects, but we are very intentional about being on "the side" in these villages. We want to enhance and support community ownership instead of promote a continual handout and produce amazing things (schools, churches, clinics, feeding programs) that would all completely fall apart if we were not here. And no- we don't have any intention of leaving Haiti, but we do not want to develop programs that are dependent on foreigners in general.

Medical Team in Ecuador September 2017
Ron and the kids assist in all kinds of projects for both of these villages (some of kids build and translate and pack supplies and help with clinics or VBS). I mostly stick to the organization of implementation of medical care within these communities (bringing out teams when we can, transporting some starving babies to malnutrition clinics, HIV testing and follow up, blood pressure clinic, following some on chronic conditions). We are hopeful to have an amazing friend/missionary who is nurse midwife that may be doing some training within the local matrons to help reduce infant and maternal mortality rate by increases prenatal care and education of the community. I still do medical teams to Guatemala 2-3 times a year and once a year to Ecuador as well as implement training with first responders (fire fighters, paramedics). 

In Home Visit with Dr. Diane in Guatemala

Teaching Gymnastics for Missionary/Expat Kids
I do a lot of workshops and training on Sustainability and Self-Care and so part of that would be why I am involved with coaching gymnastics and teaching crossfit. We have Crossfit and Poker every Sunday night at our house. I also teach at a dance studio every week and offer homeschool gymnastics and gymnastics for expat kids periodically. We hope to rent the Olympic Stadium possibly four times this year and do classes for expat kids. There are not a lot of healthy outlets (or outlets at all) for missionary kids to sustain on the field.

Teaching Gymnastics at the Stadium with Children's Home
We NEED your help to keep doing what we do here on the field and throughout The Caribbean and Latin America. We do not draw a salary from The Chance to Dream or from any other organization. We are blessed to be a part of World Outreach Ministries which serves as our home office for personal funding. This connection allows us to do more on the field and spend less time with administrative details. We need your help in serving and helping many organizations serve more effectively on the field. Would you consider partnering with us monthly? We are doing a strong PUSH to increase our monthly donations in order to stress less about how in the world is the Lord going to work out these details of our own survival.  We know that God is good and is BIGGER than finances, but we urgently need your help today!

1. DONATE ONLINE!

https://www.worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2
(Select our name from the list and follow the prompts) There is an option to set up monthly donations.

2. MAIL CHECKS TO:

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.
P.O. Box B
Marietta, GA 30061
(designate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546)


3. BILL PAY - via your online banking which can set up monthly donations as well

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.
(designate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546)
P.O. Box B
Marietta, GA 30061


Please email us: Haitimissionaries@gmail.com  or Linda@aafcs.net or Message us on Facebook: The Chance to Dream just to let us know if you begin to partner with us monthly. We want to thank you personally, but this also helps us track donations appropriately and see where we are at with recruiting funds. We are seeking 60 partners in 60 days and are in need of 50 more partners currently. God Bless you and thank you for your continued prayers, love, and support!

Love,

Linda for The Sheppard Family in Haiti (Ron, Christelle, Talitha, Billy, Roseminique, Melissa, Jordan, Steevenson, and Noami).

Joseph, Kenneth, David, Phuong, Maliya, and Julia are doing well stateside. David is set to move to China in three weeks! Praying for him as the Lord leads him to serve in my mother's homeland. Julia is pursuing nursing at Schreiner University in Kerrville, Texas. We appreciate your prayers for our grown children as they navigate life independently.


Monday, September 11, 2017

Naomi's milestone and ours

As any parent can tell you, there are certain milestones in the life of your child that are more difficult than others.   First words, and first steps are joyous occasions, but happen at unexpected times with little to no warning.  Other times are well planned, like a wedding.  One of the most difficult days for a lot of parents is the first day of school.  For many children, this will be the first time they are not under Mom or Dad's wing.  Their first venture into independence.  The excitement and uncertainty can be difficult. This day is often described by many parents as the most difficult day in parenting.
As many of you know, we homeschool.  Most of our 14 children have never attended either a public or private school.  However, a few minutes ago, Naomi started her first day of school here in Haiti.
Naomi ready for her first day of school
As most parents will say, this is a stressful day for any child, which generates stress for the parents.  Here in Haiti--and specifically for us--there are additional stressors involved.  Naomi is currently sitting in a classroom in a school that is being taught in French.  Naomi does not speak French, or very much Creole (the language most people here speak).  And none of her teachers speak English.  She is also quite likely the one white student in the school.
As I brought her to school this morning, the school graciously allowed me to enter beyond the point that they allow parents.  I escorted Naomi to the playground where all of the other students were playing until classes began.  It was like a seen from a movie as 150 or 160 kids of all grades stopped what they were doing to see the little white girl.  Naomi's excitement suddenly turned to trepidation as she realized that I would not be staying with her all day.  She grabbed my hand and held on tight.  I told her that everything would be fine and I would be back to get her after school.  I showed her where her classroom was and that I wanted to hear all about her new friends, her teacher, and her day.  It was difficult to leave, but I made it with no tears (at least on the outside).  Please pray for Naomi (and us a parents).

God Bless,

Ron

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Hurricane Irma Prep

As I sit here typing this, we are waiting for the arrival of Hurricane Irma.  The traffic is much lighter than normal, and a strange calm.  I have seen reports of the devastation this storm has already caused.  They are reporting that this is the most powerful hurricane to ever come out of the Atlantic.  The last report I saw, it has sustained winds of 180mph and gusts to over 220mph.  Irma will pass about 100 miles North of where we are, so I hope that it is not too bad here.  We are however 4000 feet higher than Port-Au-Prince.  

We have tied everything down that we can.  I have used car tie down straps for the solar panels on the roof. When Hurricane Matthew came through last October, I had used a 3/8" rope to tie the solar panels down.  It worked, we did not lose any panels.  After the storm however, the rope was broken and the racking for the panels had broken.  Since Irma has much higher winds, I thought it would be a good idea to be safe and use something stronger.  Hopefully the anchors into the concrete roof stay in place.
We have pulled everything away from windows, mostly over a concern of things getting wet.  The homes here are not sealed.  No caulking around windows, so heavy rains will come in around window frames.  We are expecting some rain to get into the house, so we have towels, mops, and buckets ready. 
Our furniture pulled to the center of the room
My tools are in small rooms downstairs.  We are expecting those rooms to flood, so we placed everything on pallets, hoping that this will be sufficient.  We have brought some tools into the house for easy access if needed.  We have a small chainsaw that is ready to go.  Although there are not many trees here.  I have rope and shovels ready if needed.

Watching the news, I see many needs.  Recovery from Harvey, Hurricane Irma, and the fires in the Columbia River Gorge and all over the Western States. 
Add caption
So please, pray for those that have been impacted by these events and for those in the path of this storm.  Also, pray for those that will be helping with the recovery.  Seeing this type of destruction is very emotional.  please pray that they have the strength they need and help them to know that helping others in need is the right thing to do.

God Bless,

Ron Sheppard

Thursday, August 3, 2017

How Dancing for Donors Reduces Self Care and Increases Burnout on the Field

This is such a tough balance here on the mission field. I try to help many missionaries, but most of them express the continual challenge of balancing self care and dancing for donors expectations. What elements of our life do we have to hide for fear of judgment with donors? Should we feel guilty for spending $20 on ourselves? I know this seems to be a semi-hidden topic, but it is certainly one that many individuals are conflicted about. And I have to admit that I am a part of that conflicted group of concerned individuals. We need money, but should we "hide" fun and only post pictures of starving babies and all the tough stuff we do on the field?


Me and Roseminique at the Beach in Haiti
I STRONGLY encourage everyone to evaluate their daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual burn-out prevention plan. What are we doing each day outside of ministry? What are we doing each week (date night/day), each month (taking the kids to the beach maybe), each quarter (getting out of the area where we serve and are swarmed by requests for something every moment), each year (maybe visiting a location across the country to see something different). What happens though when we post a picture on facebook of us sitting on the beach sipping a fruity adult beverage? God forbid I would be wearing a bikini. Yikes! 

Often we essentially receive the thoughts- Oh wait- I thought you were missionaries, but you are just sitting around lounging having a good time. We get comments such as, "I wish I was you"....."You sure are living the hard life...lol"......and sure is a "Good thing we did that campaign to fund your social time"....and on and on.

This past month, we started a Friday night gathering with Happy Hour. One of the reasons we did this was to help prevent burnout on the field. I see so many missionaries that really have become "closet" addicts in many ways. They are not allowed to drink or fraternize or relax or unwind. But I will tell you truthfully, many come to me with a bottle of rhum under their car seat or porn addictions or other unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to survive on the field.

I also got a little bit of kick back from doing the Friday night gatherings or possibly from posting "those" events on my facebook page. And then also I had people say to me they would really like to come, but other people cannot know that they drink. Basically we are pushing people to hide in a hole to escape for fear of judgment by donors or fellow missionaries. Now, I'm certainly not an advocate that everyone should drink and I have no issue with personal opinion or theology with abstaining from alcohol. I did in fact go to a Baptist college and honestly drinking has not been much a part of my life historically.

Poker on Sunday Nights
The concern that I have is that people are hitting their limits and then RUNNING to a NEED for some sort of fix instead of planning a healthy relaxing evening on a consistent basis. We have poker night every Sunday here at our house (as well as CrossFit). Some play poker and some of the rest of us sit around and eat. Some will have a prestige or a drink once in a while, but certainly not all and not every time. We don't play for money, it's just a relaxing time with no specific agenda. It is separate from us being "on" all the time with community and with outside opinions on how we should or shouldn't be doing things on the field.

Actually, some of the time we end up having theological discussions during poker, but the key is that there is no specific agenda and it is not for a specific mission organization. There's so much territorial separation on the field that it's sad. Much of this has to do with fighting and battling over funding. Satan will attack us within and we must be aware of the elements that are geared to separate us from one another to reduce the work of the Lord.

I really don't know the answer to any of this, but I would appeal to those off the field to be gentle with us at times. If you see us having fun, consider giving us a thumbs up now and then for self care. We can be plagued with guilt over all we should be doing and some of the comments hurt us deeply. Yes, we need to be held accountable for actually serving on the field and not just living it up having a good time, but really....very few are "living it up" on the field.

Prior to moving on the field, I honestly struggled myself with judgment in this aspect. I would see some missionaries and I thought "gosh...how come they appear to be living better in a third world country then we live in the USA?"  Now I realize that looks can be deceiving. We may have this huge shell of a home because there is no "middle" in this country of haves and have-not's, but much of this is a facade. We have a home with cold water and off and on electricity (when we're fortunate) and of course cockroaches, rats, tarantulas and millions of tiny ants that come and swarm when we smash a cockroach on the floor. We have an AMAZING view, but seeing that view day in and day out through bars on all the windows and gates to keep us safe changes us. It wears on our hearts and on our spirits.

So, if you see those you support relaxing, please encourage them to stick to a regular schedule of self care and not hide their "fun" from the outside world entirely. Help them (and us) to embrace the fun and relaxing times. Help us to care for ourselves so that in turn we will be more equipped to care for others. And always...always...always...continue to pray for us when you are able to. We NEED you!! We really do.

We need your love, your support, your financial assistance, and your thoughts and prayers.

If you would like to donate, please consider even small amounts monthly. Having people committed on a monthly basis certainly reduces much of the stress on the field of wondering each and every month how the Lord is going to pull it together this time.

I have to be honest, I'm tired. I was on the roll. I jumped in head first with 14 one way tickets and absolutely no idea how we would live day in and day out, but confident that the Lord would make a way. God called and we showed up. Well...four years later and we're still here. God's calling is still strong and we have continued to show up. I'm realizing though now that sometimes showing up also means plopping my behind in the sand on the beach (hopefully) once a month to recharge.  After all, God called us to this amazing Caribbean island, but we were not really seeing much of any of it because we were a gerbil running in a wheel.

We still don't know every month how it all works out and how funding will happen. But we are blessed to say the Lord is good ALL the TIME. And we are thankful for YOU!

TO DONATE ONLINE either Monthly or One Time visit:

https://www.worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2
(Select our Sheppard, Ron and Linda from the list and follow the prompts)

Or MAIL CHECKS TO:

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.
P.O. Box B
Marietta, GA 30061
(designate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546)