Leaving Daughter and Mother to Serve

Me and Phuong: Easter 2013

Last Saturday was one of the hardest days of my life. This is odd I know because as many of you know, we've been through some tough stuff in this life on earth. But Saturday was tough. We have been on the mission field for over a month now. All is going well and we truly feel like we are "home" in Haiti. We are confident that we are exactly where the Lord has called us, but we are coming face to face with the fact that there will be challenges when we are walking with the Lord. 

Phuong in Vietnam

I returned to Oregon last week with our daughter Phuong. She is almost 19 years old and is going to live in the states with her grandma (my mother) and her oldest brother Joseph. Originally Phuong was going to stay with us in Haiti, but we found out at the last minute that Phuong will lose her social security if she is out of the country for more then 30 days. It took us many, many months to apply and finally receive the first social security check the first part of September only to find out that she cannot live out of the USA.

Maliya and Phuong in China

Phuong was adopted from Vietnam and joined our family over 10 years ago. She is not able to live independently, but can function very well with assistance. I remember years ago David (one of our older children) was asked by someone at church "What is wrong with your sister?" He mentioned this in the van on the way home and I looked at him and asked him what his response was? He said, "I said nothing is wrong with her. She's just Phuong. She's just the way God made her". Our children really never thought there was something "wrong" with her. I will agree completely with David that there is nothing "wrong" with Phuong, but she has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, autism, and global developmental delay (along with various other conditions). 

Phuong last Christmas

We discussed the situation with Phuong and she decided to "try" to return to the states and live with grandma and Joseph. Returning to Haiti without her was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We have three other adult children in the states in college and that is hard, but leaving them is nothing compared to this. They are all independent and able to care for themselves. With Phuong, it was like leaving a 7 or 8 year old due to her developmental delays. 

I rarely ever cry. In fact, it is a big topic in our family that mom rarely ever sheds a tear. But....leaving Phuong was HARD. We know we can go back and get her at anytime if the Lord calls her to live here in Haiti with us. We also know that the Lord will work out the financial details if she needs to forfeit her services, but for now, she's in the states. 

When I got on the plane, I immediately opened the Bible and the Lord showed me a verse: And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 19:29

I know we are all called to serve and some of us are called to leave children and other family members to serve in a foreign land. It is not always easy though. I think about what my mother went through and what my grandparents went through and have a whole new appreciation for their lives and what they sacrificed to serve the Lord in China.

This is in front of a church that my mom went to in China

My mother grew up on the mission field in China. My grandparents were missionaries in China for over 30 years and then served in other parts of Asia for pretty much the remainder of their lives. At that point in time, there was no internet, international calling, or even international flights for that matter. They had to take literally a slow boat China that took them over two months during war time. They were gone for many years of a time. 

My mom with our daughters Maliya
and Phuong in China 

I've asked my mom about her grandparents and she really didn't know much about them. She guesses they passed away while they were on the mission field. Her parents left everything to serve the Lord in China. I think about leaving my mother now and the challenges that come with still providing her care when we are here in Haiti and she is in Oregon. She is in her 80's and has been on and off of hospice for years, but our oldest son has been caring for her for years and we have an amazing care taker that bathes her each week and takes her to the senior center.  I realize how easy we have it in comparison to what my grandparents went through. We have Skype much of the time, we have online banking to order things for her and pay for what she needs, we usually can call on the phone, and we really could hop a plane and return to the states in a reasonably short amount of time if we needed to. Maybe we couldn't all return, but some of us could at least.

We continue to appreciate everyone's prayers for our family in Haiti as well as our family that is still in the States. We know this would not be possible without the love, prayers, and support of so many people that have been called to spread the word and send others on the mission field. Thank you!!