What do I do?

What exactly do we do or what exactly do “I” do? I keep being asked this question and I have a very difficult time explaining this in one or two sentences.

I think we confuse people. I think we confuse ourselves as well. The Lord has called us to such a range of things that it is difficult for people to understand how it all fits together. Many years ago, I believe I was much more haphazard in my approach to what the Lord called me to.  I was (and still am) called to many things and wear multiple hats, but I do look at what is sustainable before I even begin something now. I would highly recommend that anyone considering missions or involved in assisting on the mission field read “When Helping Hurts”. I think sometimes we do not fully explore or understand the damage we can do when we are “trying” to help. Often times what feels good is not what a person needs. Sometimes what we do for the long term may have limited short-term outcomes and may temporarily not feel very good at all.

To tell you the truth, being a missionary doesn’t really feel all that good on a day-to-day or moment-by-moment basis. In fact, it feels really bad much of the time, but when our sights are set on the Lord, we can be confident that the immediate pain and suffering is only temporary.

The Lord has brought us into so many areas of suffering over the years. Those areas continue to hold pieces of our hearts. I just sent out a message to the recent Guatemala team that traveled with me earlier in the month. One portion of that message was about how I feel called to help a few people effectively over helping hundreds or thousands ineffectively. This is very true, but I have also seen that the Lord can help us to reach hundreds and thousands in a range of ways- especially when we work together with others. We are blessed to be able to partner with other organizations in so many ways. 

BUT…back to what it is that I do and where the Lord has called us.

#1 I am a Christian- after many poor choices in life, I accepted the Lord 22 years ago this month.

#2 I am the wife of an amazingly gentle and compassionate man- he is the exact contrast of me.

#3 I am a mother of 14 incredible children (five of whom are adults now).

#4 I am a daughter- blessed to be the daughter of a missionary

#5 I am a missionary- currently the medical clinic administrator for Mountain Top Ministries

#6 I am an Orphan Advocate- I am blessed to be a part of Chosen International that provides teen

     adoption support to so many in need

#7 I am an Attachment and Trauma Specialist- thankful to be in private practice for many years

#8 I am a Doctorate Student at Walden University (all but dissertation)- praying to graduate next 

     June and a doctorate student in theology (Christian Counseling) at Northwestern Theological 

     Seminary

#9 I am an Advocate for Mental Health Services in the Caribbean and Organizational Psychology 

     within Humanitarian Aid Organizations

# 10 I am a Speaker/Writer predominantly about adoption support, orphan advocacy, or ministry     

   support

These are just a few of the hats I wear. The reason I outline this is because we have been told that we already have our mission field with our 14 kids. Why would we possibly “go” to the mission field when we have so much going on already? Over the years, many people have placed limitations on what we do and sometimes it has come across as judgmental. This is especially true (and sad) from other believers. When I began working as a homeschooling parent, it was somewhat taboo to wear both of those hats. If I am a mother and especially a homeschooling mother, my role was apparently clearly outlined and having a “job” on top of that was somehow viewed as putting my kids second (even if that job was not just a “job” but ministry that the Lord called me to).

Then when I started traveling more and more as a homeschool AND working mother, it was even more baffling and sometimes offensive to people. I would be told by other mothers that they just can’t see how I can do that to my kids (leave them and travel to other countries). Yes, I would usually take one or two of the kids with me on these international service trips, but many of the kids did stay behind and were being homeschooled by our amazing nanny/tutor that had really become a part of our family. For some people, I was not a good parent because I delegated many responsibilities in order to serve more people. Essentially, the belief was that I could not or should not help all these other kids/people around the world when I had so many children to help at home.

If any of you have ever seen my kids, you would know that I am very much a primary parent. There are many things that I delegate so that I can continue to be the primary in my kids’ lives. Yes, we do have help in a range of ways, but I do not take a backseat in raising our kids.

It’s odd though to me because so much of this thought process of what is “too much” for one person to do places such limits on what the Lord can do. If it were up to any parent alone, they would likely run for the hills, but with the Lord, anything is possible. Our kids are from pretty horrific situations.  Many/most were from various countries around the world. Why would we just pull them out of their country and then live some cushy American life without continuing to serve in those countries and help them to serve as well?

Don’t get me wrong, the vast majority of people have always been very supportive of what the Lord has called us to do, but for others it has been a stretch for people to understand. Even today, it is a stretch for supporters to understand how we live in Haiti, but continue to serve in other countries as well. There can be a belief that our ministry has to be single focused in order to be effective. Keep in mind though- there are 16 of us (12 of us living and serving in Haiti). Even when I am involved in various conferences throughout the USA or serving in Guatemala (or any other country), the majority of our family is still living and serving day in and day out in Haiti.

We have been told that our supporters may not want me to do all these different things. They will want to know that I am serving full time in Haiti in a specific role and not also doing such a range of things (going to school, orphan advocacy, promoting mental health, etc). Hmm….

So, maybe outlining a bit of the vision that the Lord has showed us so far may help with this.

We were called to serve the Lord the moment we accepted Him into our hearts. We were first called to China and will always be connected to China. My family history is there and our first daughter was born in China. My mother was raised in China and it has always been near and dear to our hearts. Then the Lord called us to other parts of Asia. Our daughter Thao Phuong joined our family from Vietnam. Now Vietnam forever holds a piece of our hearts. 

I began working within various countries in Africa and we had two children from Ethiopia that never made it home physically to us after many years of processing, but they will remain forever in our hearts as well. Then the Lord called us to Latin America and we now have a son from Ecuador. The Chance to Dream also does much of their work in Guatemala, which also holds a piece of our hearts. 

And Haiti….

Haiti is our home. It has captured us like no other country, but it is a TOUGH place to be and a tough place to serve. Possibly the Lord knows that serving in some of these other countries has prepared me for the hardships of serving in Haiti. Perhaps the Lord knows that continuing to serve in other countries (even if remotely) assists us emotionally while we serve in Haiti. We see a different degree of progress in some of these other areas and it gives us HOPE for what can happen in Haiti.

For the time being and for the foreseeable future (next 20+ years), we see ourselves living and serving in Haiti. I am a volunteer with the Chance to Dream, which is mostly in Guatemala providing accessible education, but my role is bringing in medical teams twice a year AND living and serving in Haiti.

While in Haiti, I am blessed to volunteer as the clinic administrator for Mountain Top Ministries. We have a long-standing relationship with the ministry and will continue to support their efforts in bringing education and spiritual growth to the country. Medical care is a piece of this process that I am able to assist with for the time being.

I am in process of completing my dissertation, which is organizational and adoption related. Adoption and mental health services is my history and my training. When I graduate (hopefully in June), it is likely that I will move more into promoting mental health services in Haiti (and the Caribbean) as well as orphan advocacy within the country or specifically assisting those that work with the orphan population on how to effective treat trauma in children and families. I have been asked to be involved in various research projects in human trafficking and various other aspects that are along the lines of mental health services/research. We’ll see where the Lord leads on this journey….

Whatever we do in Haiti or however we serve in Haiti, it will be for the glory of God and to further His kingdom. Ron will continue to help with building and maintenance projects in various ways. David will continue to teach five days a week at the school in Gramothe through next year before the Lord likely moves him to China. Julia will continue to serve at the orphanage a couple days a week (she would go every day if she could, but she is starting college online and will need time to do school work as well). The other kids will continue to assist with the medical clinic and at the school. We spend time helping in the preschool as well with arts and crafts with the kids.

We are not sure of the exact outcome or path that the Lord will take us on, but we know it will be an adventure full of many ups and downs along the way. Your prayers are greatly appreciated while we travel on this incredible journey!