Exciting Update from the Sheppard Family

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us and following our blog and the details of our ministry. Your Prayer Cover is vital for the success of our outreach.  We are so thankful for your sponsorship which enables us to do what we are doing here in Haiti and around the world.

We are happy to announce that we now have a Missionary Agency assisting us!  World Outreach Ministries, Inc. will serve as our home office.  They will send Tax Deductible receipts to our supporters and facilitate Online donations from anywhere in the world [online gifts: www.WorldOutreach.org/donations].

Please direct all future support to their office and designate it for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546.  We want to make it clear that our ministry in Haiti is not changing -- this is just an administrative step that will help us in many ways.

In the year of 2016, we were able to not only coordinate medical services within Haiti, but also promote mental health services within Latin America and the Caribbean. We organized and lead two medical teams to Guatemala, two teams to Ecuador, as well as assisted with numerous medical teams within Haiti. Linda was able to travel and bring supplies to assist with earthquake relief in Ecuador last spring. We continue to be on the ground assisting in hurricane Matthew relief in Haiti. Our focus has remained on supporting sustainability (both for the local population, missionaries, and expats). This sustainability is improved through increasing trauma support around the world. Linda was able to present research last month on follow up trauma care at the Caribbean Regional Conference of Psychology.

We are thankful that we now have built up trauma trainers within Guatemala that have begun weekly trauma training for children in the village of Santa Maria de Jesus.  We have conducted two different week long trainings in Latin America as well as numerous trauma trainings both within the Haitian community and within the missionary and expat community in Haiti. These trainings have been a tremendous support to many organizations in their efforts on the field.

Ron and the kids have continued with projects in both villages of Belot and Nouvelle Terrain which has included: agriculture, medical care/transportation, education, discipleship, building projects, job sustainability, food assistance, water purification, and a range of other things in order to assist the pastors in their service within their villages.

These are just a few of the many things we have been able to help with over this past year.

But...we need your support to continue to do what we do!

Our home office has asked us to initially aim for raising $4,500 per month. Prayerfully consider sponsoring our outreach and adopting us as your missionary.



Supporting our ministry is easy and gifts are tax deductible:  


1) ONLINE GIFTS: www.WorldOutreach.org/donations - select our name from the list and follow the prompts.  You can also set-up automatic monthly gifts if you select the "monthly" option.  

2) CHECKS: mail to -- World Outreach Ministries, PO Box B, Marietta, GA 30061 and indicate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546.  

3) BILL PAY: which you can do through your online banking.

As always, we appreciate your prayers and your support. You are a blessing to our family and we are thankful for each and every one of you!

Healthy Sustainability for Missionaries and Expats

This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  I was raised by an adult MK (missionary kid) with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). My grandparents sustained on the mission field for over 45 years in China (and then also lived in other parts of Asia). Back then, you didn't pop in and out of the mission field. You went. You jumped in with both feet. You were committed. Not that we aren't committed today, but we have different options.  Now, we have different levels of being committed. Actually, I think many of our missionaries feel like they need to be committed. Sometimes I feel like I should just check myself into a center and eat jello and take happy pills while finger painting.

My mom in the front on the far right

Back in the 20's, 30's, and 40's, you literally took a slow boat to China. There were no airplanes that would cross the ocean. You did not go to your homeland for years upon years. Your family members would get married, have children, and die without you even knowing it sometimes, but certainly without there being any option of attending any of those events. There was sustainability, but healthy sustainability is something else entirely. My mother walked away from the Lord for the majority of her adult life predominantly due to the trauma she experienced on the mission field. She was angry at God.

My mother grew up as a "外鬼 (foreign devil)" in China. The other children in the villages would sing songs telling her and her sister to go back home. I wish I could call my mom and ask her the words of the song because she told me it many times, but I forgot to write it down. Basically, they were devils and were told to get out of China. But my mother had no other home. China was her home. She never really felt at home in the USA. Even years and years and years later, China still felt like home to her (in her mind). The China that she remembered was home, but the China she went back to for visits many years later was never quite the same. There was loss and grief and traumatic memories all tied up in the mission field and in China. She grew up during World War II: During a time of Japanese invasion as well as a time of civil war. There was bombing and fighting going on around her. They literally would run when the bombing was too close. On top of that, her mother was dying from cancer. Her mother chose to return to China and die on the mission field. They were dedicated missionaries. The price was high though.

My grandparents and my mother (Mary) and her sister (Lois)

I am not saying this to bash my grandparents. In fact, the sacrifice of my grandparents is a key reason I later came to know the Lord. I was not raised in a Christian home. Actually I was raised in a very anti-Christian home. But I heard stories about my grandparents and I would always wonder- what could possibly compel someone to give up literally everything to serve God? Their conviction, even though I did not really know my grandparents and did not really understand much about the Lord, inspired me.

Years have gone by and now we are on the mission field. It is a very different mission field than my mother experienced, but similar in many ways as well. We no longer have telegrams and slow boats to zig-zag across dangerous waters to avoid being bombed. We now have Skype, and FaceTime, and WhatsApp, and planes that can take us from point A to point B in an amazingly short amount of time. We do still have unrest, and danger, and trauma on the field.

Prior to us moving to Haiti, I spent quite a few years working with missionary families that had been removed from the field. They were often brought to me for therapy. I was asked to assess whether they were fit to return to the field. Often they did go back to the field, but many times they (or the mission organization) decided that they could not return. Very few of the sending organizations (or actually none that I worked with) had sustainability plans for mental health. They simply would remove them if they were in crisis. They would then bring them to the States and try to get them back on the field as soon as possible. This is not such a simple thing. Unless there is some sort of sustainability plan for mental health, more often than not, problems continue and tend to get progressively worse.

Here's a list of a few of the challenges (in no particular order) that many missionaries face which may contribute to being removed from the field:

1. Affairs
2. Pornography
3. Alcohol/Drug Addictions
4. Sexual Abuse of Missionary Kids (often by a trusted person in the home)
5. Anxiety/Breakdowns
6. Cutting/Suicidal Tendencies (often with MK's)
7. Depression
8. Rape/Assault/Hostage Situations
9. Domestic Violence/Verbal Abuse/Marriage Issues/Parenting Issues
10. Witnessing Trauma such as: Shooting/Death of someone they know or a stranger

This list could go on and on and on, but basically people are struggling. The immediate trauma and the secondary trauma is not only wearing people down, but causes long-term consequences for missionaries, NGO workers, and their families. People can go on the field strongly committed to the Lord, and committed to one another, and then be on the verge of divorce three months later.



Here in Haiti, it's a successful thing if you survive for three months and don't pack your bags and run to the nearest plane out of here. Not too many people make it beyond a year and even less will make it to three years. One missionary that had lived in numerous countries over the past 30 years made the statement that Haiti was the toughest mission field she had even lived on (including Afghanistan).
 
There may be many reasons for this beyond how "tough" this particular country is. I was talking to my aunt who is a psychiatrist and also does assessments of missionaries prior to sending them to the field. She made the observation that many missionaries in Haiti are not really "assessed" prior to going on the field. It is close to the USA and many just hop a plane and come. There isn't the same amount of training that you would see with a sending organization putting thousands upon thousands of dollars into sending a family to Africa or Asia or the Middle East.



And sustainability plans are not really something I see much of. Very few mission organizations or NGO's have mental health or wellness coordinators stateside. If they do, mostly these individuals only assess whether the person needs to come back to the States for "intensive counseling". Often this is for 2-3 weeks at a time. I have my doubts about this being a good "sustainability" plan for mental health. It seems more like a crisis management plan. More often than not, missionaries are expected to get any mental health services they need during their stateside trips which are filled with speaking at numerous churches, fundraising, visiting their family, and basically running themselves to the ground for a couple of months at a time. It's not really an ideal time to address additional mental health concerns.

If you have friends on the mission field, please spend some time praying for their mental health. Please consider encouraging self care for your missionaries in the field. Remind them that they cannot help everyone if they do not first help themselves. When there is a crisis such as a hurricane or another natural disaster, remind them to pace themselves.

If you are a missionary on the field: what is your sustainability plan? If it's a trip to the beach every three months, let me be blatantly honest and say that's not good enough. If it's a trip back to the States every year or every six months, that's not good enough. If it's a trip across the border to the DR once in a while, that also is not good enough. What is your daily, weekly, and monthly sustainability plan? What are you doing each day for your physical and mental health? What are you doing daily for your kids' physical and mental health? Please do not plan to dedicate to physical and mental health after the hurricane or after the school is built or after new staff comes or after and after and after because the need is NOW. It cannot wait until the crisis is over. If you've been here for more than three weeks, you probably already realize that there is one crisis after another. If you are waiting for the crisis to be over, you will just move directly into the next crisis.

Talk to other missionaries, develop support groups, go to a counselor before you are in crisis. Eat well (yes, this is incredibly challenging here in Haiti and very expensive), get adequate rest (this is the most difficult for me personally because I don't tend to sleep), and exercise regularly (ok...I kinda sorta have this one down with coaching CrossFit and gymnastics).

Find joy in day to day things with some sense of consistency. In a world where virtually nothing is consistent, it is important that we have some elements that are "the same".  I often speak on trauma and talk to parents with kids with traumatic pasts. One thing I tell them: outline past, present, and  future. For a person with trauma, yesterday can be a shattered mess that is all blurred together. Today is unpredictable and tomorrow may never come. One moment you were ok and the next you were harmed or witnessed something horrific. For us on the field, pretty much all of us have witnessed horrific things. This type of lifestyle tends to bring anxiety without us really identifying it or knowing it. We're walking around with our guard up waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Little (daily) things can help reduce our overall anxiety. I will share just a few things I do that may seem .....frivolous. I have my hello kitty slippers. I have a pink coffee cup. I have my mickey mouse watch. These "things" really don't mean anything to me. It's the moments of enjoyment and consistency that means something to me. I can breathe and focus in on the joy that pink coffee cup gives me. I can put my feet in my slippers and look down and smile. I can look at my watch each day and remember the amazing trip we had as a family to Disneyland. The little things really do matter.

I challenge you to find 20 things that bring you joy each day. Write them down. Check them off. Identify them and thank God for them each day. I don't mean things that bring the ministry joy. I don't mean things that are blessings to your family. I don't mean moments or details associated with being here such as helping this person with medical or doing something for someone else. I mean personal,
little things that are a consistent blessing to you each day.


PS: If you are so called to donate to our efforts on the field--including sustainability of missionaries and trauma trainings--you can send a check to:  

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.

P.O. Box B

Marietta, GA  30061

(Designate for Ron and Linda Sheppard #546)

Or you can donate online at:   www.WorldOutreach.org/donations (just select our name from the list and follow the prompts).

Or you can even donate with Bill Pay via your online banking.

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.

(Designate for Ron and Linda Sheppard #546)

P.O. Box B

Marietta, GA  30061

Stronger Through Weakness…

This is a post that I have been thinking about for a while. I struggle between being blatantly honest/depressing and being upbeat/optimistic about life on the mission field. To be honest, I have never been a very optimistic person. I lean more towards being a pessimist. In fact, the adoption agency we were with for so many years would always refer people to us saying, “Yes, let them talk to the Sheppards. That happened to them in their adoption”. If it was going to happen, it would happen to us.  I have often felt like I live an Eeyore life. The cloud of rain follows over my head regardless of where I go. 
 

BUT…this mentality is not very hopeful for support raising. You can't really say, "Hey, please help us live on the mission field. It is hopeless and discouraging, but please send some money." Nobody wants to hear, "Oh yes, this really, really sucks". It is not a positive thing to say to supporters, "We start projects with high hopes, but many of them are not completed". We continue to bash our heads against the wall, but yes, God is good. 

And in reality, I do actually believe that God is good in spite of it all. Projects not completed are not necessarily failure, but simply a change in plans that increases our perseverance and determination. BUT most of us are very result driven. "I" am absolutely result driven. I have a type A personality (in case people have not noticed). People want to hear that homes have been built, children survived, and progress continues to be made. "I" want to hear and see those things as well. This is especially true when there has been so much media presented about how various organizations did essentially nothing in Haiti with millions of dollars in support money. For me, I feel incredibly bad when even $25 or $50 goes to waste over some really stupid error. I want every penny accounted for. I want transparency for supporters. It’s incredibly disappointing to tell people that there are more people we DON’T help than those that we DO. There is more LOSS than there is GAIN. There is more PAIN than there is JOY. 

We need your prayers. This is HARD. We have had hard in our lives for many, many years. We have had a child go through chemotherapy. We have children that have moved on to be with the Lord. Our life has been complex and heartbreaking to say the least. And then came Haiti or more precisely, the mission field. The first year was one of the hardest years of our lives. It stretched us like no other experience. It continues to stretch us.

We are now three and a half years in. Ron and I both lost our mothers since we moved to Haiti. My mom passed away over a year ago. Ron’s mother just a couple of months ago. Being out of the country for some of these enormous life events has been brutal. Having grown children in the States while we are here has been difficult. Having our 22 year old daughter who is autistic and developmentally delayed living in the States while we are here has been heartbreaking. On the other hand, we have seen the Lord work through all of these details. I--for one--can't imagine living back in the States. 

We are finally moving into the "long-term missionary" mindset where we are at home on the field and no longer longing so much for things in the States. But the "home" that we have here in Haiti is rough. The life that we lead is still challenging. And I even hate to say this because I know "in comparison" we have it very good. How can I be whining and complaining about hot water and the whole dryer drama (which broke...poor Linda), when we do have a home and food and clean water? Most of the population has virtually nothing here.

There is a reason though that many missionaries or expats do not stay here in Haiti. We see so much loss not only in the communities we serve, but also within the expat community. There are many families that move in and less than 6 months later they are gone. Very few families stay beyond two years and even fewer stay beyond three years. Much of this could have to do with the whole "hope deferred" feeling.

We come with so much hope in this calling we have to serve the Lord. Maybe we are flexible. Hopefully we are flexible. We think we are going to plant a seed and things will grow (in a range of ways). But...often what happens is we keep planting seeds, but we aren't seeing any fruits of our labor. In fact, we are seeing just the opposite of that. We come with this longing and little by little that longing begins to fade. That hope that we had also begins to fade and in it's wake is tremendous heartbreak.

I have this necklace that I wear continually that says "Hope" on one side and "Espwa" on the other. I hold onto it every single day. I pray to the Lord that He will direct my hope in the Lord instead of building my hope in projects, or success, or things of people. This "hope deferred" is one of the most challenging aspect of living on the mission field. To me, it feels like this residual sadness that lingers over. But again....that could simply be my Eeyore mentality.

God is really doing something internally in me. I can't say that it is something that I particularly like. People that know me well have seen a different me and that has concerned them. My kids have seen a different me and that has concerned them. For quite a while, I have been saying I really need to "get a handle" on this and snap out of it. I'm a therapist for God's sake. I teach and counsel people on mental health and wellness and here I am blubbering half the day long (well...not exactly half the day, but more than is normal for me). It has finally dawned on me that this is not necessarily a "bad" thing. Being "Strong Linda" is maybe not where the Lord wants me. I believe God is making me stronger through weakness. For those of you that know me, I'm a pretty tough person. I'm not very emotional and tend to internalize and push through tough things. I tend to carry the weight of many things. For many years, I took that role in stride. Adopt a child- sure. How about adopt 12. Adopt a healthy child- sure how about children with heart conditions, and sickle cell, and cerebral palsy, and autism, and sexual abuse, and trauma histories, and chronic medical conditions, and fetal alcohol, and prenatal drug exposure, and microcephalus, and on and on...

OUR FAMILY

 Where is this person that took all of these things in stride? Now though, I am not exactly "taking it in stride" and I am finally realizing that this is a good thing. The type of things that I have seen here and the type of volunteer work that I do is beginning to wear on me emotionally, but it should. Yes, I did tough stuff in the USA. The type of clients I saw in the States was sexual abuse, and court cases, and kids harming themselves--and other people--and families falling apart and, on and on... There is HARD everywhere. The USA is not immune to hard stuff.

The difference for me personally is probably that, although I went home to hard (raising 14 kids with most of them coming from hard places), I also lived in the USA and could pop in my car and drive through McDonald's for french fries (I cannot tell you how much I love McDonald's french fries) or get a mocha at Starbucks. Ron and I could go on date night to a movie each week and for the most part not have anxiety that we may get killed in a political riot. For the most part, we could walk into the grocery store without fear of being robbed. For certainty, we could park our car and not be swarmed by people begging for money. We also were not stopped by police and threatened.  We didn't have people extorting money from us. 

"View" from our Home

"Actual" view from our home....

We didn't live beyond barred walls and inside a compound with concrete walls and razor wire. We turned on a faucet and amazingly water came out- even hot water. We could go to the store and buy boxes of cereal for next to nothing and gallons of milk. Gosh, I miss a simple bowl of cereal and milk. Here, that would be $12-15 dollars and you'd then have to use boxed or powdered milk. Just FYI: If anyone travels to Haiti and brings me a box of Lucky Charms, I will love you forever!


But in all seriousness, I realize there is tremendous pain and suffering in the States. There is horrific pain and suffering worldwide regardless of financial status and resources. I know this and believe that the USA is probably one of the most--if not the very most--challenging mission field because so many people simply do not NEED the Lord. And that is exactly why it was "easier" in many ways to do what we did while living in the states. We had more of a break from the continual hard. It was not "in your face" continually ALL of the TIME..

It is hard to see pain and suffering. It is even harder to FEEL this pain and suffering. I am glad that I still feel pain and am not numb to suffering, but it is incredibly hard to see the worst come out in people when they are in survival mode. It is hard to see the enjoyment people can take with other people's suffering. I had seen people die before we moved here. I had even seen people killed. But I had never seen someone stoned to death. I had never seen gangs of people laughing at another person being strung up and beaten or killed by their community.

I had never seen my six year old visit American friends at the Baptist mission and hear her talk about this person that died, or that person that lost both of his arms, or this other person that was killed for stealing some bananas all in the same sentence as "Hey, can I have a sip of your coke". 

And I know many people that have lived here who have not seen these things. I have known many people that have done the two day hike to Jacmel and had an amazing experience with no trauma involved, but "somehow" many traumatic things seem to happen to us or in our presence. And this is what brings the Eeyore mentality. I feel like saying "Really God? Really?" We just thought we would walk from point A to point B and get out of the traumatic junk in the city, but we're in the middle of trauma anyway.

Even through all of this, our calling here has remained strong. Our "vision" on the other hand, of whatever it is we are doing here remains about as clear as mud. Other missionaries continually contact me and say, "Linda, do you every wonder what you are doing here?" and I say "yes, every single day". All that I know is that God called and we showed up. That is IT. What we are doing, well....I have no idea, to be honest.  It's like trying to hit a moving target.

I can outline a plan for you. I can say we have a vision of sustainability for two different villages we serve which includes discipleship, education, medical care, agriculture, and a whole range of things. I can say I promote mental health services in the Caribbean and Latin America. I can say I do trauma work and trauma training as well as supporting sustainability for missionaries not only in Haiti, but around the world. I can say I have more clients in other countries than I do in Haiti partially because most people (including missionaries) live in survival mode here and burn out and go back to the states in crisis.

I can say mission organizations for the most part also do not invest in sustainability for their missionaries--especially in Haiti. The organizations may be more likely to invest in a missionary in Africa or Asia because it is a much bigger deal financially and otherwise to get them to the field and to remove them from the field. Due to Haiti being so close to the USA, I think many things are overlooked in the "preparing missionaries" process. 

So....although we were not exactly prepared, "somehow" the Lord has covered the difference. We are here and we are staying for the foreseeable future. We appreciate your prayers! We appreciate your support! And we so appreciate the ability to be transparent without judgment! 

P.S. I HATE to ask for support, but if you do feel led to donate, we greatly appreciate any and all support. We now have the ability for people to set up monthly recurring donations.

https://www.worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2