Healthy Sustainability for Missionaries and Expats

This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  I was raised by an adult MK (missionary kid) with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). My grandparents sustained on the mission field for over 45 years in China (and then also lived in other parts of Asia). Back then, you didn't pop in and out of the mission field. You went. You jumped in with both feet. You were committed. Not that we aren't committed today, but we have different options.  Now, we have different levels of being committed. Actually, I think many of our missionaries feel like they need to be committed. Sometimes I feel like I should just check myself into a center and eat jello and take happy pills while finger painting.

My mom in the front on the far right

Back in the 20's, 30's, and 40's, you literally took a slow boat to China. There were no airplanes that would cross the ocean. You did not go to your homeland for years upon years. Your family members would get married, have children, and die without you even knowing it sometimes, but certainly without there being any option of attending any of those events. There was sustainability, but healthy sustainability is something else entirely. My mother walked away from the Lord for the majority of her adult life predominantly due to the trauma she experienced on the mission field. She was angry at God.

My mother grew up as a "外鬼 (foreign devil)" in China. The other children in the villages would sing songs telling her and her sister to go back home. I wish I could call my mom and ask her the words of the song because she told me it many times, but I forgot to write it down. Basically, they were devils and were told to get out of China. But my mother had no other home. China was her home. She never really felt at home in the USA. Even years and years and years later, China still felt like home to her (in her mind). The China that she remembered was home, but the China she went back to for visits many years later was never quite the same. There was loss and grief and traumatic memories all tied up in the mission field and in China. She grew up during World War II: During a time of Japanese invasion as well as a time of civil war. There was bombing and fighting going on around her. They literally would run when the bombing was too close. On top of that, her mother was dying from cancer. Her mother chose to return to China and die on the mission field. They were dedicated missionaries. The price was high though.

My grandparents and my mother (Mary) and her sister (Lois)

I am not saying this to bash my grandparents. In fact, the sacrifice of my grandparents is a key reason I later came to know the Lord. I was not raised in a Christian home. Actually I was raised in a very anti-Christian home. But I heard stories about my grandparents and I would always wonder- what could possibly compel someone to give up literally everything to serve God? Their conviction, even though I did not really know my grandparents and did not really understand much about the Lord, inspired me.

Years have gone by and now we are on the mission field. It is a very different mission field than my mother experienced, but similar in many ways as well. We no longer have telegrams and slow boats to zig-zag across dangerous waters to avoid being bombed. We now have Skype, and FaceTime, and WhatsApp, and planes that can take us from point A to point B in an amazingly short amount of time. We do still have unrest, and danger, and trauma on the field.

Prior to us moving to Haiti, I spent quite a few years working with missionary families that had been removed from the field. They were often brought to me for therapy. I was asked to assess whether they were fit to return to the field. Often they did go back to the field, but many times they (or the mission organization) decided that they could not return. Very few of the sending organizations (or actually none that I worked with) had sustainability plans for mental health. They simply would remove them if they were in crisis. They would then bring them to the States and try to get them back on the field as soon as possible. This is not such a simple thing. Unless there is some sort of sustainability plan for mental health, more often than not, problems continue and tend to get progressively worse.

Here's a list of a few of the challenges (in no particular order) that many missionaries face which may contribute to being removed from the field:

1. Affairs
2. Pornography
3. Alcohol/Drug Addictions
4. Sexual Abuse of Missionary Kids (often by a trusted person in the home)
5. Anxiety/Breakdowns
6. Cutting/Suicidal Tendencies (often with MK's)
7. Depression
8. Rape/Assault/Hostage Situations
9. Domestic Violence/Verbal Abuse/Marriage Issues/Parenting Issues
10. Witnessing Trauma such as: Shooting/Death of someone they know or a stranger

This list could go on and on and on, but basically people are struggling. The immediate trauma and the secondary trauma is not only wearing people down, but causes long-term consequences for missionaries, NGO workers, and their families. People can go on the field strongly committed to the Lord, and committed to one another, and then be on the verge of divorce three months later.



Here in Haiti, it's a successful thing if you survive for three months and don't pack your bags and run to the nearest plane out of here. Not too many people make it beyond a year and even less will make it to three years. One missionary that had lived in numerous countries over the past 30 years made the statement that Haiti was the toughest mission field she had even lived on (including Afghanistan).
 
There may be many reasons for this beyond how "tough" this particular country is. I was talking to my aunt who is a psychiatrist and also does assessments of missionaries prior to sending them to the field. She made the observation that many missionaries in Haiti are not really "assessed" prior to going on the field. It is close to the USA and many just hop a plane and come. There isn't the same amount of training that you would see with a sending organization putting thousands upon thousands of dollars into sending a family to Africa or Asia or the Middle East.



And sustainability plans are not really something I see much of. Very few mission organizations or NGO's have mental health or wellness coordinators stateside. If they do, mostly these individuals only assess whether the person needs to come back to the States for "intensive counseling". Often this is for 2-3 weeks at a time. I have my doubts about this being a good "sustainability" plan for mental health. It seems more like a crisis management plan. More often than not, missionaries are expected to get any mental health services they need during their stateside trips which are filled with speaking at numerous churches, fundraising, visiting their family, and basically running themselves to the ground for a couple of months at a time. It's not really an ideal time to address additional mental health concerns.

If you have friends on the mission field, please spend some time praying for their mental health. Please consider encouraging self care for your missionaries in the field. Remind them that they cannot help everyone if they do not first help themselves. When there is a crisis such as a hurricane or another natural disaster, remind them to pace themselves.

If you are a missionary on the field: what is your sustainability plan? If it's a trip to the beach every three months, let me be blatantly honest and say that's not good enough. If it's a trip back to the States every year or every six months, that's not good enough. If it's a trip across the border to the DR once in a while, that also is not good enough. What is your daily, weekly, and monthly sustainability plan? What are you doing each day for your physical and mental health? What are you doing daily for your kids' physical and mental health? Please do not plan to dedicate to physical and mental health after the hurricane or after the school is built or after new staff comes or after and after and after because the need is NOW. It cannot wait until the crisis is over. If you've been here for more than three weeks, you probably already realize that there is one crisis after another. If you are waiting for the crisis to be over, you will just move directly into the next crisis.

Talk to other missionaries, develop support groups, go to a counselor before you are in crisis. Eat well (yes, this is incredibly challenging here in Haiti and very expensive), get adequate rest (this is the most difficult for me personally because I don't tend to sleep), and exercise regularly (ok...I kinda sorta have this one down with coaching CrossFit and gymnastics).

Find joy in day to day things with some sense of consistency. In a world where virtually nothing is consistent, it is important that we have some elements that are "the same".  I often speak on trauma and talk to parents with kids with traumatic pasts. One thing I tell them: outline past, present, and  future. For a person with trauma, yesterday can be a shattered mess that is all blurred together. Today is unpredictable and tomorrow may never come. One moment you were ok and the next you were harmed or witnessed something horrific. For us on the field, pretty much all of us have witnessed horrific things. This type of lifestyle tends to bring anxiety without us really identifying it or knowing it. We're walking around with our guard up waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Little (daily) things can help reduce our overall anxiety. I will share just a few things I do that may seem .....frivolous. I have my hello kitty slippers. I have a pink coffee cup. I have my mickey mouse watch. These "things" really don't mean anything to me. It's the moments of enjoyment and consistency that means something to me. I can breathe and focus in on the joy that pink coffee cup gives me. I can put my feet in my slippers and look down and smile. I can look at my watch each day and remember the amazing trip we had as a family to Disneyland. The little things really do matter.

I challenge you to find 20 things that bring you joy each day. Write them down. Check them off. Identify them and thank God for them each day. I don't mean things that bring the ministry joy. I don't mean things that are blessings to your family. I don't mean moments or details associated with being here such as helping this person with medical or doing something for someone else. I mean personal,
little things that are a consistent blessing to you each day.


PS: If you are so called to donate to our efforts on the field--including sustainability of missionaries and trauma trainings--you can send a check to:  

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.

P.O. Box B

Marietta, GA  30061

(Designate for Ron and Linda Sheppard #546)

Or you can donate online at:   www.WorldOutreach.org/donations (just select our name from the list and follow the prompts).

Or you can even donate with Bill Pay via your online banking.

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.

(Designate for Ron and Linda Sheppard #546)

P.O. Box B

Marietta, GA  30061