The Difference 10 pounds Makes when You're 4'10"

It's frustrating to me that I spend even the slightest bit of time thinking about my weight (and what all that entails). I would like to not worry about my weight at all. The problem is that my health changes (with only a 10 pound weight gain). Ever since our youngest daughter was born, I have had to work to keep my blood pressure down. When I am closer to "normal" weight, I am able to stay off blood pressure medication. Yes, there are some good things about being short, but weight loss is not necessarily one of those things.

The odd thing is that I'm really not all that heavy- or I don't think I am. Actually, I don't generally think I'm all that short until people point it out to me or until I see a picture of myself standing next to just about anyone. It then begins to dawn on me that I really am short. I simply cannot eat the same amount of food as taller people. Those tall people for example that are 5'4". They are six inches taller then me and it's not fair that they can eat more!

When I look at those crazy charts, I feel a little heavy. Those charts that tell us our "ideal" size are disturbing to me. Some of these charts say I should weigh 81-99 pounds. Really? You've got to be kidding me. I've not weighed under 100 pounds since high school.

But....I will say that after I reached my goal weight on weight watchers, I did ok for about 6 months. Gradually though, I stopped my weight watchers plan where I evaluated everything I was eating. Gradually though, I began to think that I could just not worry about weight and I would be ok. I stopped tracking. I stopped journaling. I stopped weighing myself. I stopped many of the things that kept me on track with my weight loss. Yes, I was still doing physical activity. Yes, I was still somewhat aware of what I ate and would limit myself to some degree, but it was a stressful year and I will admit that I am very much a stress eater. Plus, I LOVE food.

I especially love carbs and fortunately or unfortunately, we moved to a country with a very high carb diet. The way I had lost weight was mostly through eating lean protein and drastically limiting carbs. This plan is not a very good options in Haiti. We are on a limited budget and the cost of living in Haiti is 3x's what it is in the states. I know this is difficult to believe, but it is a sad statistic for the poorest country in the western hemisphere. We were blessed with the ability to purchase flour, sugar, and lard at a reasonable price. So, I began eating the amazing bread that David would bake fresh out of the oven.

Christelle's homemade birthday cake

Then, I began eating bread three times a day (as well as the rice and beans we eat each day). This is what we had and it tasted good. Then I began baking cakes again for the kid's birthdays and they tasted good. Of course, I would taste them as we baked to make sure they tasted good. :)

Flour, beans, rice, sugar supply

We began making homemade pizza with cheese and pepperoni brought in from the states and it was GOOD!

Homemade pizza

David began baking just about anything imaginable with the 220 pounds of flour we would purchase with each order. Anything that could be made with flour, sugar, and lard was an inexpensive option for us and it was GOOD!

Homemade pretzels

I love to bake. My time to bake in the states was limited, but here in Haiti, we pretty much are home every evening. There's no where to go at night, we did not have our own transportation, and it's not safe to just walk around in the dark. So, we'd bake for the next day and of course try what we baked that night as well. We'd get out the Joy of Cooking cookbook that I had from childhood and make everything from scratch and it was GOOD!

Not sure what I'm making here- but it's flour based...ugh

We are so thankful that David is coming back to serve one more year in Haiti teaching at MTM's school. He is our primary baker in the home and he is GOOD!

David perfected cinnamon rolls

 BUT...the problem is that the food was (and is) too GOOD! I love carbs, but carbs don't love me.

Cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven..

The consequence was that I put on 10+ pounds. Then we went to the states for the summer and I put on another 8-10 pounds. Next thing you know, my weight was 20 pounds above my goal weight. ugh..ugh...ugh..

It has dawned on me this week during our devotions that this is the same struggle we have with our walk with the Lord. Our time with the Lord can gradually slip away without us even realizing it. We may be doing very good things (baking, spending time with family, serving others, etc). After all, we're doing positive things, so we do not realize that our priorities are slipping away. We're serving. We're helping. We're going through the motions, but unless we continue to track (make lists/develop a plan), journal (really evaluate our walk with the Lord), weigh ourselves (check in with others/accountability partners), we are bound to put on a little excess weight (filled with junk that is not necessarily God honoring). We have to consciously put in what is good over and over again and no this should not be another cinnamon roll. We must guard our hearts.

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life" Proverbs 4:23

We don't want to have to do this the same as I don't want to have to track what I eat. We're Christians. We love the Lord. We don't often see any problem. After all, a piece of bread is not a bad thing. The same as a secular movie is not necessarily a bad thing. Three pieces of bread a day becomes a bad thing especially when it becomes a pattern of behavior. The same with sitting in front of a television and watching secular shows again and again. We are told:

 "And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. 

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, 

and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. 

Think about things that are excellent 

and worthy of praise" Philippians 4:8

It takes work to continue to fix our thoughts on the Lord. Yes, this is even true when we are walking with the Lord. It does not necessarily come naturally to us. Other things can easily slip in unless we continually guard our hearts. The good news is that we can always get back on track with the Lord and with our weight.

I've started tracking again. I've started journaling again. I've started weighing in again. I have 15 pounds to lose to be back at "goal weight". Even then, I realize this is a lifetime journey the same as our walk with the Lord. We do not just become Christians and move on with our life the same as we did before. We must get on a new road. Our walk changes. Our life changes. And with that comes great reward!