Exciting Update from the Sheppard Family

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us and following our blog and the details of our ministry. Your Prayer Cover is vital for the success of our outreach.  We are so thankful for your sponsorship which enables us to do what we are doing here in Haiti and around the world.

We are happy to announce that we now have a Missionary Agency assisting us!  World Outreach Ministries, Inc. will serve as our home office.  They will send Tax Deductible receipts to our supporters and facilitate Online donations from anywhere in the world [online gifts: www.WorldOutreach.org/donations].

Please direct all future support to their office and designate it for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546.  We want to make it clear that our ministry in Haiti is not changing -- this is just an administrative step that will help us in many ways.

In the year of 2016, we were able to not only coordinate medical services within Haiti, but also promote mental health services within Latin America and the Caribbean. We organized and lead two medical teams to Guatemala, two teams to Ecuador, as well as assisted with numerous medical teams within Haiti. Linda was able to travel and bring supplies to assist with earthquake relief in Ecuador last spring. We continue to be on the ground assisting in hurricane Matthew relief in Haiti. Our focus has remained on supporting sustainability (both for the local population, missionaries, and expats). This sustainability is improved through increasing trauma support around the world. Linda was able to present research last month on follow up trauma care at the Caribbean Regional Conference of Psychology.

We are thankful that we now have built up trauma trainers within Guatemala that have begun weekly trauma training for children in the village of Santa Maria de Jesus.  We have conducted two different week long trainings in Latin America as well as numerous trauma trainings both within the Haitian community and within the missionary and expat community in Haiti. These trainings have been a tremendous support to many organizations in their efforts on the field.

Ron and the kids have continued with projects in both villages of Belot and Nouvelle Terrain which has included: agriculture, medical care/transportation, education, discipleship, building projects, job sustainability, food assistance, water purification, and a range of other things in order to assist the pastors in their service within their villages.

These are just a few of the many things we have been able to help with over this past year.

But...we need your support to continue to do what we do!

Our home office has asked us to initially aim for raising $4,500 per month. Prayerfully consider sponsoring our outreach and adopting us as your missionary.



Supporting our ministry is easy and gifts are tax deductible:  


1) ONLINE GIFTS: www.WorldOutreach.org/donations - select our name from the list and follow the prompts.  You can also set-up automatic monthly gifts if you select the "monthly" option.  

2) CHECKS: mail to -- World Outreach Ministries, PO Box B, Marietta, GA 30061 and indicate for Ron & Linda Sheppard #546.  

3) BILL PAY: which you can do through your online banking.

As always, we appreciate your prayers and your support. You are a blessing to our family and we are thankful for each and every one of you!

Healthy Sustainability for Missionaries and Expats

This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  I was raised by an adult MK (missionary kid) with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). My grandparents sustained on the mission field for over 45 years in China (and then also lived in other parts of Asia). Back then, you didn't pop in and out of the mission field. You went. You jumped in with both feet. You were committed. Not that we aren't committed today, but we have different options.  Now, we have different levels of being committed. Actually, I think many of our missionaries feel like they need to be committed. Sometimes I feel like I should just check myself into a center and eat jello and take happy pills while finger painting.

My mom in the front on the far right

Back in the 20's, 30's, and 40's, you literally took a slow boat to China. There were no airplanes that would cross the ocean. You did not go to your homeland for years upon years. Your family members would get married, have children, and die without you even knowing it sometimes, but certainly without there being any option of attending any of those events. There was sustainability, but healthy sustainability is something else entirely. My mother walked away from the Lord for the majority of her adult life predominantly due to the trauma she experienced on the mission field. She was angry at God.

My mother grew up as a "外鬼 (foreign devil)" in China. The other children in the villages would sing songs telling her and her sister to go back home. I wish I could call my mom and ask her the words of the song because she told me it many times, but I forgot to write it down. Basically, they were devils and were told to get out of China. But my mother had no other home. China was her home. She never really felt at home in the USA. Even years and years and years later, China still felt like home to her (in her mind). The China that she remembered was home, but the China she went back to for visits many years later was never quite the same. There was loss and grief and traumatic memories all tied up in the mission field and in China. She grew up during World War II: During a time of Japanese invasion as well as a time of civil war. There was bombing and fighting going on around her. They literally would run when the bombing was too close. On top of that, her mother was dying from cancer. Her mother chose to return to China and die on the mission field. They were dedicated missionaries. The price was high though.

My grandparents and my mother (Mary) and her sister (Lois)

I am not saying this to bash my grandparents. In fact, the sacrifice of my grandparents is a key reason I later came to know the Lord. I was not raised in a Christian home. Actually I was raised in a very anti-Christian home. But I heard stories about my grandparents and I would always wonder- what could possibly compel someone to give up literally everything to serve God? Their conviction, even though I did not really know my grandparents and did not really understand much about the Lord, inspired me.

Years have gone by and now we are on the mission field. It is a very different mission field than my mother experienced, but similar in many ways as well. We no longer have telegrams and slow boats to zig-zag across dangerous waters to avoid being bombed. We now have Skype, and FaceTime, and WhatsApp, and planes that can take us from point A to point B in an amazingly short amount of time. We do still have unrest, and danger, and trauma on the field.

Prior to us moving to Haiti, I spent quite a few years working with missionary families that had been removed from the field. They were often brought to me for therapy. I was asked to assess whether they were fit to return to the field. Often they did go back to the field, but many times they (or the mission organization) decided that they could not return. Very few of the sending organizations (or actually none that I worked with) had sustainability plans for mental health. They simply would remove them if they were in crisis. They would then bring them to the States and try to get them back on the field as soon as possible. This is not such a simple thing. Unless there is some sort of sustainability plan for mental health, more often than not, problems continue and tend to get progressively worse.

Here's a list of a few of the challenges (in no particular order) that many missionaries face which may contribute to being removed from the field:

1. Affairs
2. Pornography
3. Alcohol/Drug Addictions
4. Sexual Abuse of Missionary Kids (often by a trusted person in the home)
5. Anxiety/Breakdowns
6. Cutting/Suicidal Tendencies (often with MK's)
7. Depression
8. Rape/Assault/Hostage Situations
9. Domestic Violence/Verbal Abuse/Marriage Issues/Parenting Issues
10. Witnessing Trauma such as: Shooting/Death of someone they know or a stranger

This list could go on and on and on, but basically people are struggling. The immediate trauma and the secondary trauma is not only wearing people down, but causes long-term consequences for missionaries, NGO workers, and their families. People can go on the field strongly committed to the Lord, and committed to one another, and then be on the verge of divorce three months later.



Here in Haiti, it's a successful thing if you survive for three months and don't pack your bags and run to the nearest plane out of here. Not too many people make it beyond a year and even less will make it to three years. One missionary that had lived in numerous countries over the past 30 years made the statement that Haiti was the toughest mission field she had even lived on (including Afghanistan).
 
There may be many reasons for this beyond how "tough" this particular country is. I was talking to my aunt who is a psychiatrist and also does assessments of missionaries prior to sending them to the field. She made the observation that many missionaries in Haiti are not really "assessed" prior to going on the field. It is close to the USA and many just hop a plane and come. There isn't the same amount of training that you would see with a sending organization putting thousands upon thousands of dollars into sending a family to Africa or Asia or the Middle East.



And sustainability plans are not really something I see much of. Very few mission organizations or NGO's have mental health or wellness coordinators stateside. If they do, mostly these individuals only assess whether the person needs to come back to the States for "intensive counseling". Often this is for 2-3 weeks at a time. I have my doubts about this being a good "sustainability" plan for mental health. It seems more like a crisis management plan. More often than not, missionaries are expected to get any mental health services they need during their stateside trips which are filled with speaking at numerous churches, fundraising, visiting their family, and basically running themselves to the ground for a couple of months at a time. It's not really an ideal time to address additional mental health concerns.

If you have friends on the mission field, please spend some time praying for their mental health. Please consider encouraging self care for your missionaries in the field. Remind them that they cannot help everyone if they do not first help themselves. When there is a crisis such as a hurricane or another natural disaster, remind them to pace themselves.

If you are a missionary on the field: what is your sustainability plan? If it's a trip to the beach every three months, let me be blatantly honest and say that's not good enough. If it's a trip back to the States every year or every six months, that's not good enough. If it's a trip across the border to the DR once in a while, that also is not good enough. What is your daily, weekly, and monthly sustainability plan? What are you doing each day for your physical and mental health? What are you doing daily for your kids' physical and mental health? Please do not plan to dedicate to physical and mental health after the hurricane or after the school is built or after new staff comes or after and after and after because the need is NOW. It cannot wait until the crisis is over. If you've been here for more than three weeks, you probably already realize that there is one crisis after another. If you are waiting for the crisis to be over, you will just move directly into the next crisis.

Talk to other missionaries, develop support groups, go to a counselor before you are in crisis. Eat well (yes, this is incredibly challenging here in Haiti and very expensive), get adequate rest (this is the most difficult for me personally because I don't tend to sleep), and exercise regularly (ok...I kinda sorta have this one down with coaching CrossFit and gymnastics).

Find joy in day to day things with some sense of consistency. In a world where virtually nothing is consistent, it is important that we have some elements that are "the same".  I often speak on trauma and talk to parents with kids with traumatic pasts. One thing I tell them: outline past, present, and  future. For a person with trauma, yesterday can be a shattered mess that is all blurred together. Today is unpredictable and tomorrow may never come. One moment you were ok and the next you were harmed or witnessed something horrific. For us on the field, pretty much all of us have witnessed horrific things. This type of lifestyle tends to bring anxiety without us really identifying it or knowing it. We're walking around with our guard up waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Little (daily) things can help reduce our overall anxiety. I will share just a few things I do that may seem .....frivolous. I have my hello kitty slippers. I have a pink coffee cup. I have my mickey mouse watch. These "things" really don't mean anything to me. It's the moments of enjoyment and consistency that means something to me. I can breathe and focus in on the joy that pink coffee cup gives me. I can put my feet in my slippers and look down and smile. I can look at my watch each day and remember the amazing trip we had as a family to Disneyland. The little things really do matter.

I challenge you to find 20 things that bring you joy each day. Write them down. Check them off. Identify them and thank God for them each day. I don't mean things that bring the ministry joy. I don't mean things that are blessings to your family. I don't mean moments or details associated with being here such as helping this person with medical or doing something for someone else. I mean personal,
little things that are a consistent blessing to you each day.


PS: If you are so called to donate to our efforts on the field--including sustainability of missionaries and trauma trainings--you can send a check to:  

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.

P.O. Box B

Marietta, GA  30061

(Designate for Ron and Linda Sheppard #546)

Or you can donate online at:   www.WorldOutreach.org/donations (just select our name from the list and follow the prompts).

Or you can even donate with Bill Pay via your online banking.

World Outreach Ministries, Inc.

(Designate for Ron and Linda Sheppard #546)

P.O. Box B

Marietta, GA  30061

Stronger Through Weakness…

This is a post that I have been thinking about for a while. I struggle between being blatantly honest/depressing and being upbeat/optimistic about life on the mission field. To be honest, I have never been a very optimistic person. I lean more towards being a pessimist. In fact, the adoption agency we were with for so many years would always refer people to us saying, “Yes, let them talk to the Sheppards. That happened to them in their adoption”. If it was going to happen, it would happen to us.  I have often felt like I live an Eeyore life. The cloud of rain follows over my head regardless of where I go. 
 

BUT…this mentality is not very hopeful for support raising. You can't really say, "Hey, please help us live on the mission field. It is hopeless and discouraging, but please send some money." Nobody wants to hear, "Oh yes, this really, really sucks". It is not a positive thing to say to supporters, "We start projects with high hopes, but many of them are not completed". We continue to bash our heads against the wall, but yes, God is good. 

And in reality, I do actually believe that God is good in spite of it all. Projects not completed are not necessarily failure, but simply a change in plans that increases our perseverance and determination. BUT most of us are very result driven. "I" am absolutely result driven. I have a type A personality (in case people have not noticed). People want to hear that homes have been built, children survived, and progress continues to be made. "I" want to hear and see those things as well. This is especially true when there has been so much media presented about how various organizations did essentially nothing in Haiti with millions of dollars in support money. For me, I feel incredibly bad when even $25 or $50 goes to waste over some really stupid error. I want every penny accounted for. I want transparency for supporters. It’s incredibly disappointing to tell people that there are more people we DON’T help than those that we DO. There is more LOSS than there is GAIN. There is more PAIN than there is JOY. 

We need your prayers. This is HARD. We have had hard in our lives for many, many years. We have had a child go through chemotherapy. We have children that have moved on to be with the Lord. Our life has been complex and heartbreaking to say the least. And then came Haiti or more precisely, the mission field. The first year was one of the hardest years of our lives. It stretched us like no other experience. It continues to stretch us.

We are now three and a half years in. Ron and I both lost our mothers since we moved to Haiti. My mom passed away over a year ago. Ron’s mother just a couple of months ago. Being out of the country for some of these enormous life events has been brutal. Having grown children in the States while we are here has been difficult. Having our 22 year old daughter who is autistic and developmentally delayed living in the States while we are here has been heartbreaking. On the other hand, we have seen the Lord work through all of these details. I--for one--can't imagine living back in the States. 

We are finally moving into the "long-term missionary" mindset where we are at home on the field and no longer longing so much for things in the States. But the "home" that we have here in Haiti is rough. The life that we lead is still challenging. And I even hate to say this because I know "in comparison" we have it very good. How can I be whining and complaining about hot water and the whole dryer drama (which broke...poor Linda), when we do have a home and food and clean water? Most of the population has virtually nothing here.

There is a reason though that many missionaries or expats do not stay here in Haiti. We see so much loss not only in the communities we serve, but also within the expat community. There are many families that move in and less than 6 months later they are gone. Very few families stay beyond two years and even fewer stay beyond three years. Much of this could have to do with the whole "hope deferred" feeling.

We come with so much hope in this calling we have to serve the Lord. Maybe we are flexible. Hopefully we are flexible. We think we are going to plant a seed and things will grow (in a range of ways). But...often what happens is we keep planting seeds, but we aren't seeing any fruits of our labor. In fact, we are seeing just the opposite of that. We come with this longing and little by little that longing begins to fade. That hope that we had also begins to fade and in it's wake is tremendous heartbreak.

I have this necklace that I wear continually that says "Hope" on one side and "Espwa" on the other. I hold onto it every single day. I pray to the Lord that He will direct my hope in the Lord instead of building my hope in projects, or success, or things of people. This "hope deferred" is one of the most challenging aspect of living on the mission field. To me, it feels like this residual sadness that lingers over. But again....that could simply be my Eeyore mentality.

God is really doing something internally in me. I can't say that it is something that I particularly like. People that know me well have seen a different me and that has concerned them. My kids have seen a different me and that has concerned them. For quite a while, I have been saying I really need to "get a handle" on this and snap out of it. I'm a therapist for God's sake. I teach and counsel people on mental health and wellness and here I am blubbering half the day long (well...not exactly half the day, but more than is normal for me). It has finally dawned on me that this is not necessarily a "bad" thing. Being "Strong Linda" is maybe not where the Lord wants me. I believe God is making me stronger through weakness. For those of you that know me, I'm a pretty tough person. I'm not very emotional and tend to internalize and push through tough things. I tend to carry the weight of many things. For many years, I took that role in stride. Adopt a child- sure. How about adopt 12. Adopt a healthy child- sure how about children with heart conditions, and sickle cell, and cerebral palsy, and autism, and sexual abuse, and trauma histories, and chronic medical conditions, and fetal alcohol, and prenatal drug exposure, and microcephalus, and on and on...

OUR FAMILY

 Where is this person that took all of these things in stride? Now though, I am not exactly "taking it in stride" and I am finally realizing that this is a good thing. The type of things that I have seen here and the type of volunteer work that I do is beginning to wear on me emotionally, but it should. Yes, I did tough stuff in the USA. The type of clients I saw in the States was sexual abuse, and court cases, and kids harming themselves--and other people--and families falling apart and, on and on... There is HARD everywhere. The USA is not immune to hard stuff.

The difference for me personally is probably that, although I went home to hard (raising 14 kids with most of them coming from hard places), I also lived in the USA and could pop in my car and drive through McDonald's for french fries (I cannot tell you how much I love McDonald's french fries) or get a mocha at Starbucks. Ron and I could go on date night to a movie each week and for the most part not have anxiety that we may get killed in a political riot. For the most part, we could walk into the grocery store without fear of being robbed. For certainty, we could park our car and not be swarmed by people begging for money. We also were not stopped by police and threatened.  We didn't have people extorting money from us. 

"View" from our Home

"Actual" view from our home....

We didn't live beyond barred walls and inside a compound with concrete walls and razor wire. We turned on a faucet and amazingly water came out- even hot water. We could go to the store and buy boxes of cereal for next to nothing and gallons of milk. Gosh, I miss a simple bowl of cereal and milk. Here, that would be $12-15 dollars and you'd then have to use boxed or powdered milk. Just FYI: If anyone travels to Haiti and brings me a box of Lucky Charms, I will love you forever!


But in all seriousness, I realize there is tremendous pain and suffering in the States. There is horrific pain and suffering worldwide regardless of financial status and resources. I know this and believe that the USA is probably one of the most--if not the very most--challenging mission field because so many people simply do not NEED the Lord. And that is exactly why it was "easier" in many ways to do what we did while living in the states. We had more of a break from the continual hard. It was not "in your face" continually ALL of the TIME..

It is hard to see pain and suffering. It is even harder to FEEL this pain and suffering. I am glad that I still feel pain and am not numb to suffering, but it is incredibly hard to see the worst come out in people when they are in survival mode. It is hard to see the enjoyment people can take with other people's suffering. I had seen people die before we moved here. I had even seen people killed. But I had never seen someone stoned to death. I had never seen gangs of people laughing at another person being strung up and beaten or killed by their community.

I had never seen my six year old visit American friends at the Baptist mission and hear her talk about this person that died, or that person that lost both of his arms, or this other person that was killed for stealing some bananas all in the same sentence as "Hey, can I have a sip of your coke". 

And I know many people that have lived here who have not seen these things. I have known many people that have done the two day hike to Jacmel and had an amazing experience with no trauma involved, but "somehow" many traumatic things seem to happen to us or in our presence. And this is what brings the Eeyore mentality. I feel like saying "Really God? Really?" We just thought we would walk from point A to point B and get out of the traumatic junk in the city, but we're in the middle of trauma anyway.

Even through all of this, our calling here has remained strong. Our "vision" on the other hand, of whatever it is we are doing here remains about as clear as mud. Other missionaries continually contact me and say, "Linda, do you every wonder what you are doing here?" and I say "yes, every single day". All that I know is that God called and we showed up. That is IT. What we are doing, well....I have no idea, to be honest.  It's like trying to hit a moving target.

I can outline a plan for you. I can say we have a vision of sustainability for two different villages we serve which includes discipleship, education, medical care, agriculture, and a whole range of things. I can say I promote mental health services in the Caribbean and Latin America. I can say I do trauma work and trauma training as well as supporting sustainability for missionaries not only in Haiti, but around the world. I can say I have more clients in other countries than I do in Haiti partially because most people (including missionaries) live in survival mode here and burn out and go back to the states in crisis.

I can say mission organizations for the most part also do not invest in sustainability for their missionaries--especially in Haiti. The organizations may be more likely to invest in a missionary in Africa or Asia because it is a much bigger deal financially and otherwise to get them to the field and to remove them from the field. Due to Haiti being so close to the USA, I think many things are overlooked in the "preparing missionaries" process. 

So....although we were not exactly prepared, "somehow" the Lord has covered the difference. We are here and we are staying for the foreseeable future. We appreciate your prayers! We appreciate your support! And we so appreciate the ability to be transparent without judgment! 

P.S. I HATE to ask for support, but if you do feel led to donate, we greatly appreciate any and all support. We now have the ability for people to set up monthly recurring donations.

https://www.worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2 

Living in Tough Times

So, first I'd like to say that I had the wonderful opportunity of traveling back to Haiti to help my family in the aftermath of Hurricane Matthew. Thank you Doyle and Bonnie! I got to piggyback along with an awesome medical team and I ended up translating in their mobile medical clinic in addition to visiting with my siblings and some great friends. I lived in Haiti for two years teaching at a school, but visiting for ten days and serving with a medical team is a whole new kind of experience! I love seeing the work that God is doing through my parents in Haiti and I'm always honored to be a part of it!

My parents have been following God's call to live in Haiti for over 3 years now. But I still run into friends of the family who don't seem to know what that means. Despite the swiftness and ease of communication that is available nowadays--thank you internet!--it's hard to keep friends and family in the USA up-to-date with life in Haiti. I guess I'm saying, "thank you" to you for being interested enough in Mom and Dad's lives in Haiti to put up with this rambling blogpost, ha-ha.

Of course, the reality of life in Haiti is like cold water to the face. It's certainly not easy to face it with strength--much less, joy--every day. These stresses don't just revolve around the poverty of the people they're serving, but also around providing for such a large family in a resource-limited country.  Not only that, but many of my siblings have significant special needs and their future is another stressor. It's also emotionally challenging to leave behind your close friends and family knowing that most will never visit you abroad. That support structure is distant and limited.

Now, if you were to break down this blog into a few sentences, one of the major points you'd see is that being in Haiti is tough. It's tough seeing the depth of the poverty here and not being able to fix it. It's tough relying on God to provide for us and our family. I mean, Dad works part-time drawing bridge and floor designs but that's not enough to sustain us. Even if he had a great job and was being paid well, that security is just a man-made illusion. We have no control over the future. Tomorrow could bring illnesses, earthquakes, storms, or terrible headaches (I'm thinking of the migraine my mom had after hiking into the remote village six months ago which caused her to literally be down on a bug infested straw mat for two days throwing up). We have no control over that. Life happens and we have to keep moving forward.

Now, does that mean we should give in to fear, despair, and worry? There are some great verses in the Bible which are relevant to this topic. During Jesus' sermon on the mount, he cautions against worrying saying not to worry about having enough food, or water, or clothes. "Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?" (Matthew 6:27 NLT). Negative stress is a form of worry...which itself comes from fear. Well then, why worry? There's a line in the song, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin which says, "In every life we have some trouble but when you worry you make it double. So don't worry". Such stellar advice!

For people living in the "real world" we accept that money is necessary to living. Gotta buy food, buy clothes, buy water, pay taxes...at some point you've gotta make money. Without money, you're up you-know-what creek without a paddle and no chance in buying one from the traveling salesman in the speedboat next to you. And so, we equate having money to not worrying. Which isn't as wrong as you might think. After all, money worries is the leading cause of stress in adults in the USA (over 70% of adults stress over their finances--at least, back in 2014). Often times, people worry less about their money when they don't struggle to make ends meet. Well, who'd'a thunk, eh?

Now, of course, it's very easy to recognize that worry doesn't add a moment to your life. In fact, the opposite is found to be true. According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress causes many harmful effects on the body including increased risk of heart disease ( APA article here... ). I know, I know...big shock. Who could have predicted that chronic worrying has negative effects?

Well, so what? Saying, "don't worry" doesn't magically make the worries go away. They're ever-present, ever-pressuring...relentlessly eating away at our confidence and composure. But these worries are only as powerful as we let them become. And how do we do that? Well, the long-term solution is to keep the focus on God and trust in him. As a friend likes to say, "God has a giant bag filled with jobs to do and he's only given each of us a teeny-tiny backpack with our job inside." And God won't give us more than we can handle. 

For the short-term, we all have to deal with stress differently in day-to-day life. Keep company with encouraging people, keep your sights set on the overall picture (of God in control), and just don't worry! Maybe try listening to this song ;)

Where God is Working, Satan Attacks

It has been a challenging few weeks. I'm tired. Ron is tired. The kids are tired. 

 

I teach on sustainability for missionaries, but I'm not always a good student. We are trying to pace ourselves, so please be patient with us. We don't normally get a ton of donations. There are few consistent people that have been such a huge blessing to our family, but for the most part, we really don't know how we will even feed our family each month. I traveled waaaay too much last year leading teams to Latin America and then stopping through the States in order to work as much as possible to allow us to continue to live here. 

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It took a huge leap of faith for our family to just hop on a plane with no return tickets and without paid work or a concrete plan for funding. Somehow the Lord has worked miraculously and we continue to have enough to get by. But this has come with a fair share of challenges. In fact, I am now being reminded that the things that frustrate me the most in Haiti are exactly the type of things that got us here in the first place.

 

Here's an example: The pastor is AMAZING! We love him and he has such a heart for the Lord, but starting a project without knowing how you are going to pay for the whole thing is frustrating. He simply relies on the Lord that the rest will come in. Americans don't exactly think that way. If the building is going to cost 20K and you have 10K, you don't start it until you have the money. So....with the school....that was a HUGE issue. The school was started and then the roof needed to be done because structurally you compromise the safety of the building if you piece it together. It was also raining and ruining the desks that had just been made. We had part of the roof funding, but not all of it. The pastor rented some material and hocked his vehicle.  I dunno. It was a nightmare, but we do now have a roof on the school. 

What do we do when we have faith, but things are not as we imagined they would be? But then again, who am I to complain about this "live for the moment" strategy when we ourselves had 14 one way tickets and stepped out in faith that the Lord would provide?

 

We are also told "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" Matthew 6:25

hmm....hmm...ugh. I'm not always good at this! I would not say I am a worry wart by any means. I am not up pacing around worrying about what we will eat or worrying about life, but it does occupy much more of my thought process then it really should. 

I'm sure I could also pull scripture on planning, and being strategic, and prudent and on and on. I don't think God promotes simply moving forward randomly without a plan, but those plans should not be OUR plans, but the Lord's plans. Sometimes it feels like meeting the Lord's plan is like hitting a moving target. 

And do not worry about what we will eat or about life? hmm...people are starving around us. Food is a big thing here. Just the expense to feed our family on a Haitian diet of rice and beans is not only tremendously expensive, but it takes a ton of work. Going to the market, bartering, finding food, cooking food, having fuel to cook that food, having electricity to store some kinds of food, keeping mice and rats and ants and cockroaches out of food. These are all things that weren't such a challenge stateside.

 

On this last team, we were blessed with a specific donation by my friend Vanessa's mother-in-law. She wanted to do something to help our family and maybe buy each child gifts. I said that it would really be helpful to have a dryer because everything is molding up here. It takes forever to dry. Anyway....HUGE blessing to be given funds to get a propane dryer. I was all teary over this and I'm usually not so teary over things. 

 

We still had wet stuff here from the team after a week. Then you get wet again and it's a never ending process. So, we went on the journey to Port au Prince to locate a dryer. And praise God that we not only were able to find a dryer, but bought a washer and dryer for the donated amount. We've had a string of challenges trying to keep a washing machine. Our system was struck by lightening and we had a power surge before that which took out our original washing machine and well....numerous other things have been an issue to where we have not had a working washing machine for quite a while now. But there was another blessing, Operation Blessing donated some food and building supplies, so we have been hauling some of that stuff as well. 

 

Our truck has been used so much. We are thankful to have it, but security continues to be a issue here in a country of have's and have not's.  We had two big boxes strapped down with thick tie downs in the back of the truck. We were driving over by the US Embassy and people started yelling and pointing. This is a bumpy and congested dirt road in a smoldering hot area. 

 

One box had flipped out of the truck.  We didn't know how that was possible, but we had to deal with the crisis at hand. People were helping to put the box back in the truck. For anyone that has been to Haiti, you understand what happens at the airport: people swarm you and want to help you because they want money. 

 

It turns out the tie down had been deliberately cut in order to pop the box out and possibly get paid to put it back in or maybe to steal it, but the box was too heavy to just pack off.  A swarm of people gathered quickly. Maybe over 20 guys and they got a hold of Ron and were shaking him and yelling. They all wanted money. We gave one guy some money so that the rest would take off after that one guy. A few still stayed. A UN truck happened to be passing next to us and the rest of the guys took off, but not before one of the guys pulled a knife on Ron. The whole time our younger two kids, Naomi and Steevenson, were witnessing this whole event. 

This is normal. We are exposed to violence regularly. We are exposed to trauma. All of our kids have seen people die- many people. All of our kids have also seen people killed in front of us. The reality of this and how to wrap your mind around scripture of " Do not worry" and " God is in control" is complex. We as missionaries only feel a small part of this danger and feeling of not being in control. In comparison to the rest of the population, we actually live quite well here. Everyone is ok though. Praise God! I got in the back of the truck with Steevenson (one of our 12 year olds) to hold onto the stuff. We strapped it down again after we got out of the immediate area. 

 

Ron's arms are messed up. Not only from this instance, but from laying on the ground in Nouvelle Terrain. And maybe because we're getting old. This life we have is aging us. Would appreciate prayers for strength and perseverance.

 

BUT...My friend Vanessa was there and said she is beginning to get a better glimpse of what it is like to live in Haiti. Yes, this is Haiti. The good and the bad. This is not abnormal and I know we do not have the control that we "think" we have in the States either. It's just that it seems to be a little more blatant and in your face here in Haiti.  Being on guard continually from being robbed or injured or killed takes a toll on a person. The kind of counseling I do here for expats and NGO workers often revolves around trauma of rape, hostage, shootings, etc. This is deep stuff.

 

We then dropped Vanessa at the airport. I came home and put my head in a bucket of cold water to wash the grime out of my hair. I wrapped my hair in a towel and a cockroach landed on the floor. He was on my head, but then I crunched him on the ground. I left him there. The ants would drag him off.  

 

 

I went to get some coffee and put some sugar in it. After all, it was a tough day. I wanted some sugar! But....the ants had invaded our sugar. So, I scooped some sugar into my coffee and drank it anyway. These are the questions you ask yourself on days like this: How many ants are too many? One time ants got into our cinnamon rolls (which we rarely ever have). We put them in the freezer and picked most of them off. These are things that in the states you may just throw out, but here certain things (most thing) are precious and not easily or cheaply replaced. I respect that and appreciate the real-ness about Haiti, but it's still hard. I miss easy at times. And then I go back to the States, and I feel like a fish out of water. I don't understand the materialism and the ease of hopping in your car to get a Starbucks. Don't people realize that people are dying from starvation as they sit there drinking coffee? I wish I was less aware of that fact at times. I know actually that people do care and people do realize, but it's much more complex and it's not something people can fix.

Actually, there are moments I wish I just worked at Starbucks. I think that would be fun and rewarding. The employees always seem so happy and maybe they could pay off my 100k doctorate education.

And well....I guess I didn't understand the whole propane dryer deal. I "thought" that since it was propane it would run on gas, but it only kinda sorta does. We have to also have electricity for part of this "running the dyer" process, which we don't exactly have because it's overcast and our solar is not working well this time of year.  Plus solar power is not all I had hoped it would be. We can sort of run the washer and dryer, but it's drastically limited depending on the day.

 

But I am reminded that these are just details meant to distract us from doing the work the Lord has called us to do. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and your continued support! We really need your prayers. It gives us strength to know so many are thinking of us and praying for not only the country of Haiti, but for our family as well.

Ephesians 6:12: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Building, Medical Care, and Food/Water Distribution in Two Villages

Thank you for your patience. We are doing the best we can to get food/water, shelter, and medical care to the villagers in Belot and Nouvelle Terrain. Due to the urgency in this process, it has been challenging to provide detailed updates. Internet speed here is not like it is in the states and often we do not have internet at all. It has been raining pretty much nonstop since the hurricane. This has caused flooding and mudslides throughout many areas in Haiti. Our solar is not all that helpful in this kind of overcast weather, which means by midday we often do not have power unless we run the generator. We don't choose to run the generator most of the time due to the expense.

The village of Belot

We are incredibly overwhelmed by the support. It's humbling to see so many people step up in a time of need. Please know that we appreciate your support and we are working strategically to make sure your funds serve as many people possible in this time of need. If I have not thanked you personally, please forgive me. I am getting messages from our kids back home on the various donations and I also see various donations coming through paypal. The team helped create a spreadsheet in order for us to better calculate how many homes we could begin with the various funds. The originally calculations did not include labor, but God has been miraculously providing the funding needed to build these homes! It's not an easy process that maybe we can explain in the future, but please understand that we are working as fast as we can in a country where time is quite a bit different then in the USA.

Medical Care

Junior doing dental work

Jordan in clinic- was helping with dental care

Last week we were blessed to have an amazing medical team lead by our good friend and nurse practitioner Vanessa. We saw hundreds of patients in Belot. Some of these cases were life threatening conditions, so it was encouraging to be able to get the help to people in need. We also had a young 4 year old with severe malnutrion. We were able to transport him and his parents to a malnutrition center in Thomassin. Praise God! Thank you Rhyan and Espwa Berlancia for the work you are doing to help families! It's wonderful to see organizations coming together to help those in need.

Vanessa's last day in Haiti (with Linda and Naomi)

A grandma holding her little grandbaby

Love this picture with our niece Jamie (nurse) doing medical care and our son David translating

I have to mention this sweet little old man. We have a sustainability plan with the village of Belot, which means that the church body has come together and decided a price that people will pay to come to clinic. This way, they begin to develop a medical fund and in the future, they will be able to run their own clinic by paying local medical providers and purchasing medication. Currently, medical care and education and a range of things are subsidized by outside funding, but all that we do in the village has a contribution by the people. People generally pay 20 gourdes to come to clinic, which is equivalent to about 30 cents. BUT..there are some exceptions. This sweet little old many with a cane put his hand out with 7 gourdes and we let that slide.

David translating - sweet old man

Mr Excellent is also an exception. Mr Excellent is still farming his land at over 80 years old. He is an amazing person who comes to the truck and gives us potatoes and sometimes a live chicken. We don't make him walk to the clinic even though he would be happy to walk the long distance.

Mr Excellent by his home

Ann- He misses you and asks about you frequently!

Coming up to Ron in the truck

Building/Shelter

Rosemarie working with the crew on building her new home

The foundation is done on Rosemarie's house. They will begin putting the blocks in for the walls. We are making a new plan for windows and doors. Ron was going to weld them, but there's an issue with locating the right kind of wire. Anyway....always something, but we're working on a new plan. It's important to have plan A and B and C in your head when living in a country with very limited resources.

damage done to trees in Belot during the hurricane

We have five homes in process currently in Belot. We are hoping to start on the other nine soon.  There are many others in Noevelle Terrain that need to be rebuilt, but the mudslides has changed some of our plans. We will need to assess further damage and figure out a new plan on getting the help to that area. We are not able to access that village at this time. Please keep the village in prayer! The conditions are extreme and the needs are great.

Beginning stages of new home being built

Food/Water

With various general donations, we have been able to purchase rice/beans for families in need. We also had a donation of Aquatabs for immediate need with cleaning water. We were able to do various training on cholera and for the patients waiting in line for medical care. Operation Blessing has also donated various supplies to us. We are in process of getting water filters and chlorine production devices to both villages. The pastor from Nouvelle Terrain will be picking up some more food supplies tomorrow.

As always, thank you so much for the continued prayers and support! To donate any amount, please go to www.thechancetodream.com and designate for Haiti relief. Please follow the blog for pictures of the completed homes and homes in process. We appreciate your patience with information. We do not have any paid staff with The Chance to Dream. It is just our family here in Haiti. We're doing the best we can to get information to donors, but it is difficult when we are out in the villages serving. The speed of internet in order to post updates (and especially to upload pictures) is challenging. We could not do what we are doing without the support and prayers of so many people back in the States and Canada. We also want to say how thankful we are for a specific group of people: We have been contacted by many people that we went to high school with that we haven't spoken to in over 25 years. Thank you! Thank you! Your support is appreciated. (yes, that shows how old we really are)...

God Bless,

The Sheppard Family